Lifestyle

40 Habits of Healthy Couples

13. Always make sure to cheer for each other. Healthy couples work together as a team. When one person is weak, the other has to be… Trista - July 15, 2019
Your partner should be your biggest fan. No matter what, a healthy relationship is full of support. Pixabay

13. Always make sure to cheer for each other.

Healthy couples work together as a team. When one person is weak, the other has to be strong. They make a conscious, daily effort to try their best to balance each other out and cheer each other on with support. No matter what it is they’re doing, they always have each other’s back. Life is going to be full of ups and downs, so it helps to know there is always going to be someone in your corner. 

While similarities tend to bring couples together, it’s the differences that help them grow. Shutterstock

Partners should want each other to succeed in whatever endeavor they’ve taken upon themselves. Happy relationships cheer for their victories and offer their support when things don’t go their way. They’re encouraging each other through the hard times and boosting their self-esteem to keep going because they want that person to succeed. Even in “failures” your partner’s qualities should be celebrated.

Sure, you can play Monopoly, poker, or whatever games you like, but don’t play games when it comes to each other’s feelings. Shutterstock

12. Healthy relationships don’t play games with one another.

No, we are not talking about board games or card night! Couples that love each other don’t play games with each other’s hearts and heads. Playing with someone’s emotions, lying, and cheating only serve the purpose of making things worse. It creates distrust and hurts the other person involved. Healthy couples prefer to face each other with honesty in their hearts to have no secrets between them. Getting each other riled up about past fights or trying to be spiteful is a big no-no. Happy relationships only want what is best for the other person, and it is reflected through constant respect and kindness.

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Mature relationships happen with mature thinking and problem solving skills. Passive aggressive responses, mind games and other tactics of that nature don’t work. They are manipulative and destroy trust in a relationship. If you have lived with those tactics your whole life, it can be difficult to break that pattern. However, if you are truly struggling with healthy ways to communicate and want to get better, there is no shame in seeking a therapist.

A healthy couple ensures they are making time for each other to connect every day. Shutterstock

11. Healthy Couples make intentional connections with each other every day.

Even on the busiest days, couples who are in it for the long haul find little ways to stay physically and emotionally connected. Whether that looks like a friendly, long hug, listening attentively while your partner is speaking, or offering words of affirmation, it will help the two of you stay connected even throughout your day to day responsibilities. Emotional connections are the glue in our relationships. Over time, these small daily actions and interactions build a deep sense of trust and intimacy that keep couples happy and together. Be sure to take the time to find ways to connect to your partner every day. 

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Small acts of love and kindness can make or break a relationship. You don’t need to perform grand gestures to make them feel connected to you. After a while, these small habits become second nature. Texts, hugs and other love language acts will form a bond that goes bone deep. This will ensure a healthy and long last relationship.

Disagreements and mistakes are bound to happen in any relationship. Forgiveness and acceptance are keys to not holding grudges and having a healthy relationship. Shutterstock

10. Long-term, healthy relationships do not hold onto grudges.

Mistakes will be made, and fights will be had. Healthy couples can discuss the disagreements work through it, and move forward together. They understand that mistakes are lessons learned and not reasons to shame each other. When a spouse doesn’t hold a grudge, they are better equipped to handle future conflicts maturely. It’s vital in a healthy relationship to not hold grudges and work through the issue together. Healthy couples understand that you cannot punish each other for any mistakes. Instead, when errors are made, they are confident they are still loved and valued in the relationship. 

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Like we mentioned earlier in this list: nobody wants to have their past haunting them. People are humans and they make mistakes. If they take accountability for those mistakes they’ve made in the past and you have witnessed an effort for them to improve, don’t throw past issues in their face. People react better to positive reinforcement when they are changing habits or problems. Giving them encouragement instead of grudges will teach love and respect for one another.

Healthy couples make sure to communicate about everything, from the exciting things to the stressful events. Shutterstock

9. Healthy couples must speak about the fun and the not-so-fun stuff.

It’s easy to talk about the exciting and positive things in your life, such as an exciting job promotion or an upcoming vacation. It might not be easy to talk about the less glamorous things, such as financial stress or dissatisfaction in your relationship. Maybe it’s an awkward or uncomfortable thing to do; the difficult conversations are often those that bring couples closer. Healthy couples who stay together have uncomfortable discussions where they share difficult emotions. When couples feel their expression is not only seen but heard, the bond strengthens. Relationships become more resilient, knowing they can face anything with their partner. 

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When you do have those uncomfortable conversations, make sure that it’s in a healthy mindset and space. If you are explosive whenever you discuss serious issues, it’s going to do more harm than good. More than likely, your partner is already feeling stress over the situation. There is no reason to make them feel worse about it because you’re taking your stress out on them. Make sure that issues are handled without accusations.

Healthy couples are accepting of all the crucial individuals in their partner’s lives. Shutterstock

8. Partners must accept each other’s family and friends, imperfections, and all.

It’s normal to feel occasionally annoyed with a partner’s friends or family. Perhaps your mother-in-law is too involved in every aspect of your relationship, from what you’re doing daily to what big decisions you make. It’s bound to happen. The key is that healthy couples recognize these individuals are essential to their partner, and an effort should be made to get to know them and get along with them. Instead of criticizing each other’s loved ones, healthy couples focus on their strengths and similarities. Finding things in common helps cultivate a bond and get to know the individuals who are closest to your partner. 

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Your partner may or may not love their family. It makes matters worse when you try to point out issues their family may have. They are probably already aware and afraid of sharing that vulnerability. All of us are guilty with getting irritated with our in-laws, but they’re in it for the long haul. Whether or not you like them, they’re going to be in your life. You may as well not add to the misery of that dynamic by trash talking every chance you get.

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7. Those who make an effort to understand their partner’s perspective tend to be in more loving, long-lasting relationships.

There will inevitably be disagreements in any relationship. Listening to your partner is vital in any relationship, but it’s only half the battle. Long-lasting, healthy couples hear each other’s point-of-view and show they truly understand. Acknowledging your partner’s perspective will help strengthen the bond, the two of you have. It’s human nature to want to feel understood. It’s crucial to find ways to communicate with your partner that you know what they are trying to convey, even if you disagree. Being genuine in these moments will help set the stage for future conversations and allow for both of you to feel confident and comfortable opening up.

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Always validate your partner’s feelings by acknowledging them and not just getting defensive. More than likely, issues they are having are not necessarily directed towards you, so don’t be offended. Realize there is a reason they’re feeling this way and work through it together. Ask questions relevant to what they’ve said and try to leave them feeling better than when they first came to you.

While similarities tend to bring couples together, it’s the differences that help them grow. Freepik

6. Couples must celebrate the differences, not just your similarities.

At the beginning of the relationship, couples tend to focus on what they have in common. Similarities are what brings people together and allows them to build a foundation. However, as time moves forward, couples understand that they also have differences. Longtime, healthy couples recognize those differences keep things interesting and help you both grow. Healthy couples can appreciate their partner’s different interests, tastes, and responses. They also become interested in learning more about those differences, which opens the door for more in-depth conversations. In turn, the bond will continue to strengthen. Taking part in your partner’s hobbies or interests will make your partner feel valued. 

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This takes us back to the issues of celebrating your own individuality. You don’t need to become one entity in a relationship. you are two separate people that found each other in this crazy world and decided to be together. It would be boring if everybody is the exact same. So make sure to celebrate their differences and realize that’s their best parts. Everybody deserves to be celebrated for being themselves.

 

Making assumptions can lead to resentment, anger, and frustration. Shutterstock

5. It’s vital not to make assumptions.

You know what they say about assuming… But seriously, it’s easy to jump to conclusions about what your partner is thinking or feeling during those inevitable arguments. Successful couples can focus on the context of the discussion rather than making assumptions. To understand and respect their partner, healthy couples ask. Rather than assuming their partner’s feelings, they are curious and ask them. Doing so encourages open dialogue.

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The next step is to be sure to be prepared to listen without judgment. Jumping to assumptions can lead to resentment, anger, and frustration. It’s critical to ask your partner how they’re feeling and how you can help, rather than assuming. That’s when it’s important to exercise those listening skills we’ve tried drilling into you throughout this article. It’s so much more important than you realize in the moment. You’re not enemies or else you wouldn’t be together. So treat each other like allies. 

 

Spending alone time with your friends and family is beneficial to your relationship. Shutterstock

4. Healthy couples know how to balance “me” time and “we” time.

Couples who are in it for the long term understand the need for together time and individual time. It’s crucial in a relationship to continue doing the hobbies that each individual enjoys. Although healthy couples value and appreciate their independence, they aren’t afraid to lean on each other for support. Healthy relationships can balance separateness and togetherness. Allowing each other to have time to partake in hobbies or spend time with their family and friends helps them appreciate and value the time spent together. Maintaining healthy boundaries and some autonomy will make for a long-lasting relationship. It’s critical for a successful relationship also to maintain the connections you had prior. 

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If the “me” time swings too far the other way, it’s normal to feel ignored. Striking that perfect balance is going to be key here. If you have a partner caught up in video games (for younger generations) and you feel like it’s crushing quality time together, definitely speak up about that. Remember that your thoughts and feelings don’t need to be accusatory. “I feel ignored.” sets the stage for you to take accountability for your feelings. If you go to them saying “You never spend time with me.” then they are going to feel defensive off the bat. If you open with your feelings, hopefully they will question how their actions are making you feel that way.

 

A successful couple can show respect, love, and understanding of one another. Shutterstock

3. Successful couples always show respect.

Showing respect to your partner is a habit worth creating for a happy, healthy, and long-lasting connection. Respecting your partner comes in many forms. When you express respect, you are showing your love, acceptance, and warmth. It allows your partner to feel confident in the relationship and tells them that you support them. Failing to show disrespect to your partner communicates that you don’t accept your partner. Respecting your partner allows for the two of you to feel connected, loved, and accepted. The relationship can grow, and the bond will continue to strengthen. Even when there are different outlooks, healthy couples always respect their partner, including their differences. 

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For example, an extreme circumstance of disrespect is trash talking behind their back. It’s hard to build trust and respect if you are telling your friends that your partner is lazy or useless. You may not realize that you are setting yourself up to not see them with the respect that every human deserves. But this type of habit can solidify these feelings in your mind and make you treat them with less respect than they deserve.

Every individual feels love differently. In order to be successful, it is vital to know your partner’s love language. Shutterstock

2. Express your love by speaking your partner’s love language every day.

Healthy couples recognize their love language and that their partner may have a different love language. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Understanding how you feel love and also how your partner feels love is vital to a healthy relationship. It’s important to note that how you interpret love may not be the same as your partner. When you express your partner’s love language, they feel loved and valued. Creating the habit of speaking your partner’s love language daily establishes love, affection, and warmth for a long-lasting relationship. 

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There are five love languages that deal with how your partner perceives or expresses love. Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. All of these are pretty self explanatory. But if you aren’t sure about which love language you are, take the quiz here! Once you know what your and your partner’s love language are, you can start integrating those into your daily lives.

Taking selfies and posting on social media are ways that couples publicly display their affection. Shutterstock

1. Healthy couples are sure to set boundaries.

It’s unlikely to see a healthy relationship that lacks boundaries. Healthy couples openly talk about and respect each other’s boundaries to ensure their needs are being met and as a way to feel safe in the relationship. Limitations include emotional, physical, and even digital. When couples establish healthy boundaries, they know what is expected of them and can also communicate their needs to their partner. This can include discussing how much time is spent together, how often to check-in, and what public displays of affection they are comfortable with.

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Going back to another habit, you should never assume your partner has the exact boundaries you do. Always make sure your partner feels validated and heard. You guys may have different ideas on boundaries, but it is important to discuss that. Compromise is always going to be a part of a relationship, just make sure you both feel like you’re on even footing in the compromises.

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