“I thought of another one! This teenage boy came in with a split philtrum up to his nose. The philtrum is the indent above the upper lip. He was in a lot of pain, and we were waiting to hear how this happened. As it turns out, he was riding a four-wheeler without a helmet and smacked into a tree. We noticed he had on a hospital gown from another hospital and asked what happened. So, it turns out he was at another hospital, got mad at the wait time, then his Dad drove him here where he thought the wait time would be shorter.
Now here is the funny part. The gown he was wearing had four or five little holes in it. We decided not to ask but were able to figure out what happened. They were cigarette burns. He put a cigarette in his mouth while they drove to our hospital. You can normally hold a cigarette in your mouth, but since his philtrum was split, it couldn’t support it. The cigarette fell out of his mouth and burned his gown each time he tried to put it back in his mouth. The situation got a good chuckle out of everyone, including the patient and his Dad.” – Redacted name of user
5. Freak accidents always lead to the ER and medical attention.
“My mother is an RN and has a high tolerance for all things nasty, so she would always end up treating the patients that no one else wanted. Here are a few of the stories she told me. A man was driving behind a truck with glass panels strapped to the back of it. Somehow, one of the glass panels managed to fall off the truck and shoot straight through the guy’s windshield, slicing a huge part of his face off. The saddest part was that he was engaged to be married in a couple of weeks. He suffered from pretty severe brain damage and was never the same. They still got married, though.
Here’s another one. A woman was changing a tire on the side of a road when a truck passed her. She was wearing a scarf, and it got stuck in the wheel of the truck. She was dragged 60 feet on her back before she was able to free herself. There was no skin on her back, only muscle. My mom was the only one who could change her dressings without getting nauseous. Also, she was pregnant at the time. She made a full recovery, though, and her baby was fine. My Mother was happy to help this woman recover and meet her baby after she was born.” – mxeyr
“I have a story along the same lines, but it’s not medically oriented. My father is an old school hard a**. He is Hard-drinking, hard-hitting, strong as a bull type. If you imagine Clint Eastwood in one of his movies, that’s my Dad. A year or so before I was born, he was out back chainsawing a tree when the tree broke, and the chainsaw slipped off and gored his thigh deeply. My father wasted no time, and instead of going to the hospital, he asked my mother for a sewing needle, hydrogen peroxide, whiskey, and thread.
Taking a few shots to numb the pain, he disinfected the wound and needle then proceeded to sew himself back up. Afterward, he went back out and finished chopping up the tree. My mother told me this story once I was old enough to hear it, probably around 14 years old. I couldn’t believe my Dad went back out there and finished up his work while in that much pain. He showed me the scar, and it was pretty gnarly. I later learned he missed his femoral artery by inches and had that happened. I would most likely not be here.” – Mr_Incredible_PhD
3. This medical professional knows puppies for profit is never okay.
“I used to be a veterinary technician working for an emergency clinic. We had a breeder come in with her very ill and pregnant Boston terrier. The dog was in severe dystocia (meaning she was trying but could not give birth). The doctor palpated her and could tell there were four puppies alive and very ready to come out (one even sucked on her finger). However, the puppies were positioned in such a way that would have made natural birth impossible, so the dog needed a c-section. We informed the owner of this, along with providing an estimate for the surgery.
She broke down the math out loud. Figuring out how much money she would make off the puppies if they all survived. She determined it wasn’t worth it for the surgery since she wouldn’t make a profit. Then, she promptly told us to just put the mother down because she’ll just get a new dog and start over. She was willing to essentially kill five animals because it wasn’t profitable enough for her. Don’t worry. We had her surrender the dog. The mother and puppies made it out okay and were all adopted by lovely families. I still can’t believe that woman decided to do such a terrible thing.” – hebossapplesauce
“My wife is a hospice nurse. She goes to dying people’s houses and pretty much checks vitals and meds. She surprises me every day with stories of how her patients love to see her. I think it’s because she cares about them, and they see her as their little “angel.” I like to joke around and call her an angel of death. Anyway, one day she came home absolutely mortified. She had a husband and wife on service and went to their house to do her thing. The husband had some type of cancer, and the wife had dementia, I believe.
So, the husband had to take care of the wife. On this visit, when my wife walked through the door, she noticed something was wrong. The wife with dementia was doing her thing, off in her world, but my wife couldn’t find the husband. She went into their bedroom, and the poor guy had ants crawling all over him. He wasn’t dead – he was just too weak to be able to do anything about it. He was fully aware of what was happening in his bed with the ants. She helped him out of bed and proceeded to shower him to remove every ant.” – KuriousOne
1. Stabbings, surgeries, and self-defense for this medical professional … oh my!
“Hmm… I have a few, though I don’t know if I’d be called a professional. I do work in a hospital. We had one patient come into the ICU whose guts were so swollen that they couldn’t close him up. He was wide open for a week and a half in the ICU. Yes, that means his intestines were on glorious display. I couldn’t eat spaghetti that week without thinking about it. Also, I carried a guy who got stabbed into the ER one day as the girl who brought him drove off in a jiffy. The police arrived a bit later, looking for her – she eventually came back, and they talked to her.
It turns out she was his girlfriend, and she was the one who’d stabbed him. He got arrested. It was deemed that she’d done it in self-defense due to the massive amount of bruising and cigarette burns she had. That one was strange. Then, one week in the ICU, they drained a guy’s lungs because they were filled with fluid. While they were doing that, they found this massive blob. I’m not sure how else to describe it. I only saw the thing in a jar. It was a gelatinous blob (literally – opaque red/orange color, consistency of an egg yolk when you first break the egg- that kind of blob) bigger than my two fists put together.” – Celebreth