30 Habits and Mindsets of People Who are Unhappy

They may always be searching for something more. Pixabay

18. Individuals may always be searching for a purpose. 

Many of those who are depressed are searching for a purpose or meaning in their lives. They need to find something that they consider worthwhile doing to feel like they’re moving in the right direction. This notion is because feelings of inadequacy and fear are active in the depressed mind, which they yearn for validation of some kind in their activities. It’s their way of trying to make themselves happy that doesn’t involve seeking help from others.

The purpose they are seeking may look like landing their dream job, which gives them a sense of waking up in the morning, or it may be a hobby that they can excel at naturally. The feeling of a bigger purpose helps curb the feelings of loneliness or uneasiness. 

17. They try to seek love and acceptance. 

As with finding a purpose, they’re also trying to find love and acceptance from those around them. They may strive to be a people-pleaser so that other people will like them. Also, it’s that seeking love and acceptance that they hide their inner demons. They want to be attractive to other people so that they can be seen as a friend. Not everyone is equipped to deal with the ugly head of depression, so it’s kept hidden to spare others from that discomfort. The goal is not to be dishonest but to appear as the best version of them possible.

Unhappy individuals have conflicting feelings of wanting to disconnect and distance from others while also wanting to feel like they are part of something. They want to feel connected to their family and friends and like they are wanting. However, it can be challenging as feeling too engaged can be overwhelming and cause them to feel out of control.

Asking for help may not be so clear, and often, unhappy individuals do not know how to ask for help. Pixabay

16. There may be subtle cries for help.

When you think of a depressed person, you think of someone that wants to be alone all the time and doesn’t want to talk to anyone. That’s partly true. Depressed people may generally pull away from other people most of the time, but there are some instances where their depression becomes too much to deal with on their own. Look for those moments when they choose to open up and talk about their conditions. These are the most crucial times where they’re crying for help. Try to meet them halfway but don’t react with anger. That will make them withdraw and not want to talk about it ever again.

Someone who is unhappy and wanting help may not know how to go about it. The sad individual may worry that saying they need help is a sign of weakness. He or she might also be embarrassed. Sometimes, talking aloud about what is going on inside can be the first step in facing their realities. Lastly, they may be worried about being judged. Even if you do not understand what they are going through, welcome the conversation with grace; you should make every effort to listen to what they are saying. You may not have all of the answers, but it can be a substantial first step in the right direction if they feel supported.

15. Individuals may make lifestyle changes to cope with their feelings. 

If you know someone who doesn’t exercise regularly and then see them suddenly start going for a job every day, they could be dealing with depression independently. Engaging in some activity makes it easy for them to focus on something else other than their moods. Engaging in these activities helps to release endorphins, which can make the body feel better overall. This rush can cause them to seek it out more and more so that they start engaging in these activities more often.

If someone is making positive lifestyle changes by eating healthier or working out, be their biggest cheerleader. Please encourage them to do what makes them feel good. Do not shame them or question their motivation as it may not be something they are ready or willing to discuss.

Hiding from problems can be a common tactic for someone unhappy. Pixabay

14. Unhappy individuals may avoid all or certain aspects of their lives. 

People with depression can sometimes choose to avoid everything. People, places, and even essential appointments they have don’t want anything to do with anything. This can significantly affect their lives, as they also skip paying their bills or going to classes. Depression is a horrible, cruel monster that makes it easy for people’s lives to be ruined. Avoiding regular activities and seeing people make it easier for them, as they don’t have to pretend that everything is okay. Especially on those exhausting days when everything feels like too much, they may choose just to sleep all day instead.

An unhappy individual may not realize that avoiding all or certain aspects of their lives is further feeding the unhappiness. It can be too difficult to muster up the energy to face daily life tasks or responsibilities. Unhappy individuals may struggle with keeping a job, maintaining friendships, or keeping up with household tasks.

Focusing on specific items or tasks may be a habit of unhappy individuals. Pixabay 

13. They may have compulsive behaviors due to their unhappiness. 

Many people with depression can start taking up compulsive, obsessive behaviors. Again, this is the need to control their lives that they felt have spiraled out of control. Some people may take multiple showers a day just because it’s the only way they know how to relax and feel good. In contrast, some people may engage in harmful behavior, such as trichotillomania (pulling out hair).

Many unhappy individuals may feel that their minds are racing with a lot of different thoughts. To help combat the chaos that they may be feeling in their mind, they tend to focus on specific items or tasks. By focusing on specific tasks, even for just a little moment, they not only have control over what they are doing, but it can help them feel better. While some of these compulsive behaviors can be harmless, others can be harmful to physical or mental well-being.

These behaviors may be difficult to notice at first, if you don’t spend much time around that person. However, if you’re aware of what their normal day-to-day lives are like, then you’d have a better understanding of what seems out of the ordinary.

They may tend to keep people at a distance. Pixabay

12. Unhappy individuals will steer conversations away from themselves.

When people are depressed, the last thing they want to do is talk about them. They don’t want to admit to others that their lives are less than perfect and that they’ll be judged for their behavior or not reaching out for help. That’s why they tend to conversations more towards other people than themselves. They prefer actively listening to people’s lives than contemplating their own and how screwed up everything seems to be. Alternatively, worse, having to put those feelings into words and hoping they’re not judged for them.

Talking to others about what is going on in their lives can be overwhelming. Not only does it potentially require them to talk about their feelings or what is going on in their life, but it can also be a trigger for comparison. We live in a society where social media has been known to contribute to comparing and unhappiness with our own lives. It’s essential to keep in mind that people generally do not post about the challenges or sad times. Instead, they are posting highlights in their daily lives. By talking about themselves, it can further add to comparing that their life may not be as fulfilled as someone else’s. While they may know deep down that not everyone’s life is as perfect as it seems, it can be challenging to accept.

Eye contact helps individuals connect. Pixabay

11. They may avoid eye contact.

People who live with depression tend to have a very low sense of self-esteem. They see themselves as below other people and not worthy of their attention. That’s why most people find it hard to make eye contact with other people during a conversation. They tend to look down or at anything else that’s in the room that they can focus their gaze on. It makes it easier for them to keep separated from the person they’re speaking with.

Eye contact is often used to bring the two individuals together and show that you are actively engaged in the conversation. While unhappy individuals often feel beneath others and have low self-esteem, they may want to distance themselves from others. They may be dealing with internal thoughts and cannot focus on the conversation in front of them actively.

Sometimes expressing your feelings can lift a weight off of your shoulders. Pixabay

10. Unhappy individuals may react to things, both unexpectedly and negatively. 

Dealing with depression can be a tiring experience. There are explanations for every aspect of your life, not wanting people to discover the truth, and trying to figure out how to fix the problem on their own. Handling all of this by themselves builds up over time that when the smallest thing happens, that breaks the camel’s back, it’s interpreted as overreacting. This sudden outburst is a sign that something is wrong and that they’re overwhelmed with something. It’s more than just being in a bad mood.

Unhappy individuals may struggle internally that they often do not wish to discuss with others for fear of judgment or embarrassment. On the other hand, if loved ones in their lives are genuinely unaware of what they are going through, they may not ask questions, leaving the unhappy individual carrying their thoughts and feelings alone. It can be complicated to reach out and ask for help. If unhappiness builds from one day to the next, there is bound to come a time when it is just too much to handle. This feeling may come in the form of a disruption in their planned activities or someone who is forced to do something they are not comfortable with. The unexpected interruption or change in the course can prove to be overwhelming. If the change had occurred on any other day, it might not be as big of a deal, but after time, it becomes too much, and to someone unaware of lingering feelings, it can appear to be an overreaction.

9. They may be more likely to disappear for long periods. 

Someone dealing with depression and trying to deal with it on their own may disappear for long periods. They may choose to disappear for a while, either by staying at home or going on a sudden drive somewhere without telling anyone. Coming to terms with depression on their own can become overwhelming that they need to take a break from everything else to stop themselves from falling apart. If you notice this pattern in someone you know, it may be time to intervene to see if everything is okay.

Social interaction can be incredibly overwhelming and draining to an unhappy individual. Although others may not be aware of what they are dealing with, low individuals may feel completely alone and disengaged. They may not feel connected to others, even their own family and friends. It can further enhance their feelings of being alone with their thoughts. In an attempt to sort through or come to terms with those thoughts, the unhappy individual may take some time to be by themselves. It is vital to check on friends and family from time to time to see how they are doing. Sometimes that extension is all others are looking for.

8. They are critical of everyone and everything. 

Unhappy individuals tend to reserve their harshest judgment for themselves. There is no greater pill to swallow than that of self-contempt. However, they are also extremely critical of those around them and the situations they face. Finding ways to judge others keeps individuals in the negative mindset essential in sustaining an unhappy lifestyle. Focusing on others and what they may be doing wrong helps them not feel alone when criticizing themselves. Situations are often condemned to find the negative as well.

Sometimes, it is more comfortable to focus on what is going wrong rather than look for what is going right. Also, looking for the positive in any aspect of life is not a practice in their daily lives. It is easier for them to resort to their habits and what comes second nature to them, which tends to be focusing on the negatives. While they often feel alone and compare their lives to others, being critical of everyone and everything creates some similarities and connections that they otherwise do not have. It is difficult not to over-analyze others, including the decisions and actions they are taking. 

7. Unhappy individuals tend always to worry. 

One common habit of those who are unhappy is constant worrying. Sad individuals often look at life as the glass is half-empty, rather than half-full. Doing this can create a negative mindset and instill fear and worry in every situation, no matter how big or small. Something as simple as driving to work can generate worry in an unhappy person. Happy individuals tend not to worry as much and have faith that everything will be okay. On the contrary, those who are unhappy tend to worry more often and do not believe that things will be okay. Instead, they think about all that can go wrong. 

From the minute they wake up in the morning until the minute they lay down to go to sleep at night, they spend much time worrying about what is coming next. Also, their worrying nature can contribute to their unusual or unhealthy sleeping habits. It is not easy to turn their minds off. It is more than average worries. Many people may worry about a terrible snowstorm or their loved one who is undergoing surgery. Unhappy individuals tend to worry about every aspect of their day, from what they will wear that day or what they will eat for dinner. The constant worrying can exacerbate feelings of sadness or unhappiness.

6. They crave control over life. 

Unhappy individuals tend to run from uncertainty and, instead, desire control over every little detail. They worry their world will fall apart if they lose control and neglect to embrace the unpredictable nature of life. Struggling to take charge of every piece of life can be very consuming and can further lead to unhappiness. Individuals who are continually worrying about controlling every aspect of their day are less likely to be present and enjoy life moments.

In addition, when an unhappy individual sees others that appear happy and fulfilled in life, it can look like they are in full authority over every aspect of their lives. There may be a perceived correlation between control and happiness. Those unhappy individuals may seek out power in an effort to achieve feelings of joy. It takes a conscious effort to accept that not every aspect of life is controllable slowly, and part of working towards happiness means embracing those uncontrollable moments.

5. They believe that life is fundamentally hard. 

For unhappy individuals, life is often viewed as a constant battle that has to be fought every day of every year. Reality is perceived as harsh and dangerous, which is only out to harm them. Life is ultimately viewed as one long struggle day in and day out. That can be tough to see and appreciate the ups and downs of life. It can also be arduous to understand that others also experience the highs and lows of life. Instead, unhappy individuals may feel that they are the only ones struggling with the terrifying, downward slope furthering their unhappiness. 

If they feel that they are alone in the daily struggles, it further contributes to their unhappiness. They may also be more inclined to close themselves off from others or be unwilling to talk about what is going on because they might feel that no one can understand or relate to them. Additionally, if someone communicates their struggles to the unhappy individual, they may feel the need to one-up them and try to add how their life is worse off. It is essential to understand that many people are dealing with specific challenges privately or have dealt with past issues.

4. Their talk tends to revolve around gossip and negativity. 

Part of who you are as an individual is what you say about and to other people. The conversation of someone with low spirits is often based around gossip or expressing how awful their life is. The focus tends to revolve around what is going wrong rather than what is going right. It can be challenging to maintain conversations that require deeper thinking. Unhappy individuals are typically more comfortable sticking with superficial level conversations. When in this mindset, it can be easier to think and talk about all that is wrong rather than finding what is going right. 

When an unhappy individual does communicate about how bad their life is or what is going wrong, they may be looking for validation. They may be more willing to open up and communicate if the receiving party agrees that life is difficult, and they have it hard. Since it is more difficult for an unhappy individual to think or speak positive thoughts, they may not react well to another party who only speaks and thinks positively. They are more likely to gravitate towards another individual that also focuses on gossip and negativity, which they feel they can relate to more. However, it is crucial to be mindful and not get caught up in these conversations as it only creates further sorrow.

3. Unhappy individuals often compare themselves to others. 

While we are all unique individuals who must walk our own paths in life, unhappy individuals may have a habit of comparing themselves to others—being unique means that our vision of what success looks like is different from others in our lives. Although comparison can be a habit for many people, those with some degree of unhappiness tend to focus on comparing their lives to those of others more often.

In today’s society, social media can be dangerous. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are all highlight reels. However, it can be difficult for unhappy individuals to understand that fully. Many people with social media do not post their struggles. However, for someone sad and scrolling through one of these social media applications, it is easy to see that others appear to live their best lives. They may see images or posts of engagements, weddings, purchasing a home, or having a child. If the unhappy individual is struggling in one of those areas or still working towards it, it can quickly become a comparison of why they have yet to achieve it like everyone else. It can be difficult for individuals to appreciate what they do have as they will always view others as being better off than them. 

2. They tend to fill their voids with material items. 

In addition to making comparisons to others, unhappy individuals may try to fill their void by spending money on material items. Purchasing material items can be a defense mechanism when trying to maintain an image with their peers and project a vision of a successful, happy individual. Unhappy individuals may believe that wearing name brand clothing or driving the nicest car signals to others that they are happy and satisfied with their lives. They may also feel that if they are not portraying an unhappy image by the way they live or items they purchase, others may not question them, and they will not have to explain themselves.

In addition to attempting to maintain a particular reputation to others, purchasing material items can provide an exhilarating moment of satisfaction for a few moments. Despite knowing that these feelings may fade, unhappy individuals may tend to fill their lives with possessions in hopes; it will eventually aid in their happiness. 

1. Unhappy individuals tend to quit more readily. 

To achieve things in life, you may need drive, motivation, and persistence. Unhappy individuals may lack in those aspects and often give up on tasks quicker due to fear of failure. It may be easier to accept defeat when you have not given it your all compared to when you put your everything into it. Individuals who view life as hard work don’t expect to succeed as often as someone who has a more cheerful outlook. Rather than facing disappointment or failure, the individual will decide to give up first. 

Unhappy individuals will choose to give up before failure is even an option. That may mean that they get a quarter or half of the way through a task or project before they quit. However, to maintain control of the situation and their life, they may choose to stop the moment failure is a possibility. They struggle to realize that the path to success is not always linear and is often composed of many highs and lows. They may lack persistence and only be willing to complete tasks that have a definite positive outcome.