Lifestyle

Medical Professionals Share the Dumbest Ways they’ve Seen People Self Treat Medical Conditions

Ladies! Potatoes belong on your plate, not in your “you know what.” “She came back less than a week later, complaining that the pain had only… Trista Smith - November 21, 2022

We’ve all heard of home remedies, whether it was to treat headaches, colds, or other ailments. People have always gone for essential oils, herbal teas, or other home remedies their parents or even grandparents may have recommended. Whether it is an old family recipe for the sniffles or something you might have read about on the internet. We all know that if it’s on the internet, then it must be true, right? Since Google is free to use, why pay a doctor to treat your medical condition if you can just fix it at home for little to no cost? Not everything you read online is true, especially when it comes to medical conditions. You should not follow the recommendations to treat your ailment that you see online. It might actually make your condition worse.

Nevertheless, people do some questionable and even dangerous things to try and treat their health issues. Please understand that we advise against doing DIY healthcare 100%. However, if you want to read some shocking confessions, please continue. These doctors, EMTs, and nurses have witnessed some of the craziest things. These stories will make your jaw drop!

Pharmacy Times

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High blood glucose does not mean your blood is thicker than water.

“Diabetic patient went on vacation in the Caribbean, left her insulin on a cruise ship, and hasn’t taken any for a week. She gets back to the States, Medicaid won’t pay for lost or stolen meds, and she refuses to pay for another bottle because she “doesn’t have any money.” Realizing that no insulin = more sugar in the blood, she somehow thinks that more sugar in the blood means that her blood is now “thicker.” Hence, she decides to take a bunch of Plavix, warfarin, and aspirin (all blood thinners that cause bleeding, and high doses can and will lead to internal bleeding and death) to thin her blood. I get the story when she comes into the pharmacy to get refills on her warfarin and Plavix and ask her why she needs those early. I told her to go to the ER immediately, and I have no idea if she actually did.”

YouTube

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Eating cheese will not rid you of an STD or other medical conditions.

Not a medical professional, but I once shared living quarters with medics at a small outpost in Afghanistan. Whenever they weren’t busy, they’d see as many locals as they could. I was working in the back room one day when I overheard this little gem of a conversation: Patient, through an interpreter: “I caught an STD recently during a vacation in Pakistan.” Context: The locals tend to look at Pakistan like Americans view Las Vegas; a way to get away from it all for uninhibited hedonism when desired. Medic: “How bad are the flare-ups?” Patient: “Pretty bad, but I’m trying to treat it naturally.” I lean in at this point, ready for whatever explanation is coming. Long silence from the medic, who is trying to process the situation. Medic: “How…does one treat an STD naturally?” Patient: “I’m eating a lot of cheese.”

Byrde

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If you are bleeding from your butt, you should let professionals handle that.

“ER Tech here: A man came in with his wife because he had been bleeding from his bum. He thought the best way was to self-anesthetize with alcohol, lubricate the area, and cauterize with a curling iron. He got it a fair way up before pulling it out, judging by how much of his rectum turned KFC. We had to remove about a foot of the GI tract due to burnt, scarred tissue. The worst part was that it didn’t even stop the bleeding, which originated farther up the GI tract than the iron would ever reach.” This is for anyone who may come across this sort of problem, do NOT attempt to self-cauterize. You’re only going to make things worse for yourself.

Freepik

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Don’t subject animals to your awful medical care

“I work at a veterinary clinic, and we once had a gruff, old country guy come in with his Australian shepherd. The dog had a huge hanging growth under his neck that was rubbing against the ground and just looked horrible. The doctor strongly recommended he have it removed, and the owner said he could do it again. Again!? Apparently, the dog had a smaller growth in the same spot years ago that the owner removed with a pocket knife and bottle of alcohol. No closure, no antibiotics. We were so shocked! The doctor went on to explain why that was NOT a good idea. He eventually agreed to let us do the procedure, but MAN, was he a difficult son-of-a-b. We’re still unsure how the dog survived the last removal without any problems.”

Getty

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Always read the packaging or instructions before inserting something into your body.

“A friend of mine is a nurse, and they had a young girl come in with severe cramps and abdominal pain. They asked if she had started her period (they thought it might be her first one and that she didn’t know what it felt like yet). She explained that she had had her first period two weeks before, and the pain had worsened consistently since then. They found 11 tampons inside of her, and she thought biodegradable meant they dissolved inside of you and hadn’t removed them.” This girl may want to stick to pads, especially if she doesn’t quite know how a tampon works.

The Clever Home

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Bleach does NOT belong on or in your nether regions.

“I had a patient come to the ER complaining of severe pain and swelling “all down there.” On physical examination, we noted a remarkable amount of swelling and the internal and external tissues were extremely red and irritated. She was so swollen she couldn’t even pee until we put a catheter in. The physician did a pelvic exam and found blisters on her cervix. We asked when the symptoms started. She said, “Well, it was itching tonight. I thought I had a yeast infection, so I poured a cup of bleach up in there to kill it. But then, after a while, it kind of started to hurt.” Yeah, I bet it did.”

YouTube

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Lemon goes better in water than in an eye

Although not their own story, a dispatcher heard of a story that they just had to share with the rest of us. “911 dispatch here. I heard the story secondhand, but the kid had a crazy high fever and wouldn’t stop crying. Paramedics get on the scene… and mom is squeezing a lemon while rubbing it all over the baby’s forehead because it’s “supposed to keep the fever down.” Mom was completely at a loss as to why the baby wouldn’t stop crying either. It couldn’t possibly be the lemon juice you’ve essentially been squeezing into its eyes for the last 20 minutes. No, siree.”

OnMilwaukee

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There are tons of options for birth control, but a shot glass is not one of them.

“I worked at an OB/GYN clinic for seven years. One day a girl called and said she had a broken shot glass up her vajayjay. Upon asking how it got there, she said she was using it as birth control. Thankfully it worked because no one that stupid should have children.” They aren’t kidding with that last statement. Because man, oh man, what would make anyone decide that a shot glass up their hoo-haw was the best form of birth control? They could have just not done the dirty. Sounds like this girl should really have a personal talk with her doctor to discuss better options for birth control.

CBS News

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Bugs can’t crawl in one ear and out the other

“As an EMT – Basic student, I responded to a man who called 911 complaining of an insect crawling up his ear. Upon arrival, we asked what ear the bug crawled into. He says his right ear but keeps complaining about burning coming from his left ear. We noticed his wife standing next to him, holding a bottle of insect spray. Upon further questioning, we come to find out she sprayed insecticide into his left ear, thinking it would “flush” the insect out of his right ear. I had to explain to her that our brain separates our ear canals.”

TLC Cleaning

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What gets nail polish out? Nail polish remover, right?

A story that makes us go, “Umm, what?” Because anyone who thinks this is what you should do might need to rethink a lot of things. “Paramedic here. Got called to a house at about 11:30 one night for a “girl with fingernail polish in her eyes.” I got there, and the scene was a s**t show, people screaming and throwing things around. We immediately notice the mother holding down a younger girl and about to pour something into her eyes. Nail. Polish. Remover.” It’s not like they have Google or anything, right? They definitely could have waited for the paramedics to get there so they could assess the situation instead.

YouTube

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Of all the things they could have used to treat the pain with these medical conditions, they chose to go extreme.

“I’m a triage RN. Had a patient call concerning back pain. I was going about my normal assessment and asked if he had taken anything for the pain, to which he replied, “Cobra Venom.” Turns out, he had read about Cobroxin, a topical treatment for pain made from cobra venom, and decided it would be more effective to simply let a cobra bite him. I have no idea how he got hold of a cobra.” Yeah, we have a couple of questions about this as well. Of all the ways they could have treated pain, they went a little extreme with that choice and didn’t even follow the directions for that!

Freepik

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There is a little twist to this story, and not just from the micro drill.

“Late to the party… A guy comes into the clinic with a boil the size of a golf ball on his face. He begins to explain that he had a painful zit and tried to lance it with a needle, and when that failed, he stepped it up to a “micro drill,” which he sanitized by wiping on his jeans. The nurse stopped him mid-story and asked, “So you took a drill to your own FACE and want to know why it’s sore and swollen?” I was the patient.” Talk about a twist! We were not expecting that at the end. To be honest, we weren’t expecting to hear that the man used a drill on his face, though, either.

Bored Panda

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That one time something absurd actually seemed to work.

Although we do not recommend treating yourself, especially in such a way as this man had, it seemed like he may have had an idea there. “Had a frequent flier patient who had psoriasis so bad that he literally had huge scales all over his legs. One day he gets admitted, and the scales are gone. He tells me he took a brillo pad (steel wool) and scraped them all off. Surprisingly it works with no adverse effects, and he’s still scale-free a year later.” Even though it seemed to work, it sounds pretty unpleasant and probably painful, as well. Please don’t try this at home.

Bored Panda

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Talk about getting it straight to the source!

“We are a needle exchange/harm reduction station at the clinic I work at. We have IV drug users come in pretty frequently to get their abscesses cleaned out and dressed properly. So one patient comes in wanting to get her abscess cleaned out like many other patients before her. We take her to a procedure room and prepare everything to start. She has an ace bandage covering up this spot on her arm, so of course, we think it’s fine because that’s better than just letting it open to the air.” But wait…. there’s more to this story!

Nurse Plus Academy

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This was definitely NOT how she should have handled that, to begin with.

“She proceeds to take off said bandage and exposes not only a HUGE abscess but a FOUR INCH LENGTH OF VEIN sticking out of her arm that is rotting away and drying up. We are like, “Uh, what’s going on here?” and she says she took it out of her abscess and left it out because it made injecting heroin easier. So basically, she ran her own IV with a vein she cut out of her abscess. We then called the ambulance.” Having a place you can go to that won’t judge you but will take care of you when you need it is nice. Doing something that is along the lines of surgery on yourself, thinking it’s okay, is insane, especially what this girl had done.

Bored Panda

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Viagra is definitely the way to go… too bad these guys had other ideas.

“I worked overnights in a midwestern ER, and I have seen two men try to treat their erectile dysfunction on their own. One man used caulk in his urethra, and then it dried and cracked like pencil lead, and only the 1/4 inch at the tip came out. He had another 3 inches or so, all broken into pieces that required surgery to get out. The other man used a clipped-off piece of coat hanger to try to keep himself erect during sex, and that also had to be surgically removed. The dudes are weird. Ask for Viagra.” He’s right, and even if it was because they were embarrassed to ask their doctor for Viagra, we think the way they went about self-treating their problems was even more embarrassing.

Trickla

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These poor pups didn’t have a choice, but their owner did and didn’t make the correct one.

“Animal Attendant for a vet clinic here. A client came in and rubber banded their two dogs’ ball sacks as a way of neutering them. VERY VERY VERY BAD. They got the idea from how people neuter sheep and goats can. However, there is a HUGE difference between the junk of a sheep and a chihuahua. Both of the dogs had a severe infection, and the tissue was completely dead. The treatment for this cost wayyyy more than the neuters would’ve been. DO NOT DO THIS EVER EVER.” To be honest, we think that if you think this is okay to do without doing your research first, then you probably shouldn’t own any pets, to begin with.

Instructables

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Grandma didn’t know it, but she may have made her grandson smell like a fry.

“An 8-year-old tripped on the cord of a deep fryer, spilling hot grease on his shoulder and arm. His grandma slathered him in butter to “cool him off” and “draw the heat out.” When my medic partner and I entered the house and started assessing the boy, I was saddened and hungry at the same time. The poor kid smelled absolutely delicious. No cannibal.” That poor boy must’ve been feeling rough for a while after that, and probably smelled like a French fry for a while, too. We don’t know if this trick works, but at least the grandma tried to do something for him while waiting for the medics to arrive.

LITFL

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Sir, toothbrushes are for your mouth, not your butt!

“Med student. A guy came into the emergency department with two combs and a toothbrush in his butt. He had stuck the toothbrush up there for pleasure but lost it. He tried to fish it out with a comb but lost that and tried again with a second comb and lost that as well. The kicker: he was there because he had gotten in a car crash. He wasn’t there to get the stuff out of his butt. He volunteered the information after we asked if there was anything else we needed to know.” Certain things just don’t belong there, and it seems he wasn’t concerned about any of that. I mean, he was going to leave it! And who knows how long all that was already all in there for either.

Spoon University

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A licensed nurse did what?! And thought that would work?

“Paramedic here: Responded to a nursing home for a diabetic patient, unresponsive. The nurse didn’t keep up with the insulin and gave a tad bit too much, decreasing the pt’s blood sugar. Okay, this is fixable. I walk in to see another nurse pouring Splenda down this lady’s mouth. She has snoring restorations and just inhaled the Splenda into her lungs. It also isn’t doing s**t for this poor lady because it isn’t f*****g sugar. After giving this lady some D50 (IV sugar water), she came to but felt like she couldn’t get enough air. We treated her for a few days for pneumonia. I swear some people get their medical licenses from the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.”

Medical News Today

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This guy just wouldn’t listen to his doctors or believe his test results.

“I saw this patient last year. He had a long history of abdominal pain that was quite non-specific, and his previous workups were negative. He was convinced that he had intestinal parasites that caused the pain (which, as an aside, he believed that he got them after an “encounter” with a woman he met on the internet). So, despite having seen several physicians and gastroenterologists and numerous investigations, including gastroscopy and colonoscopy, nobody found the diagnostic source for the pain. But he was undeterred from believing it was intestinal parasites.” Obviously, there was no convincing this man otherwise.

EMS

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He does something you definitely should NOT do yourself — and at home at that!

And we truly mean that there seemed to be no convincing this man otherwise. “So, he develops a plan in which he orders surgical instruments and local anesthetics online. He watches YouTube to figure out how to perform a laparotomy (to get into his abdomen). And so, after his preparations, he performs a self-surgery using a video camera to watch himself and manages to get into his abdominal cavity. He had trouble completing his self-surgery and called an ambulance.” We are sure this guy may have more than just problems with his stomach; hopefully, he gets the help he needs.

Wikimedia Commons

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Make this make sense, please!

This story doesn’t quite make sense to us. And it’s not how it’s told, but what this woman thought would work to treat her condition. “I had a patient treating her lung cancer with a “sonic emitter.” Her argument was that sound waves can shatter glass, so lung cancer wouldn’t stand a chance.” We aren’t sure how she thought this would work exactly, but we have a pretty good idea that it did not work as she was hoping it would. If only it were that easy to treat lung cancer or any other type of cancer for that matter.

Bored Panda

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This story sounds so unreal, but these medical conditions — and bad treatments — really did happen.

“Here is one that my friend who was an EMT told me. He and his partner got called out for an impairment injury to a child’s eye while running with a pencil. The mother removed the pencil before they arrived. The mother was riding in the back. That’s when the paramedic said to the mother. “Next time something gets impaled, don’t remove it. It’s dangerous!” Without skipping a beat, the mom goes, “Oops, I didn’t know that.” Then she proceeds to quickly and calmly shove the pencil back in. Apparently, it was an eventful evening.” Who knows what goes on in their home when no one is around? That poor kid, hopefully, grows up to be smarter than his mom.

Shutterstock

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If the sun doesn’t cure him, then maybe the moon will!

“GP here. The most outrageous thing I’ve heard was from a boy who was something like 20-22 years old. They were a very poor, illiterate family. The boy had a bad case of tonsillitis and refused to take any meds because all he needed to do was “bite the sun.” Basically, at noon, he had to look up to the sun, open his mouth as wide as possible and “bite” the sun several times so it would “burn” his tonsils and cure him over the course of a couple of weeks. When that wouldn’t work, plan B was to do the same at night but only under a full moon.”

REUTERS / Benoit Tessier / File Photo

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RoundUp kills weeds and potentially people, but not tumors.

We really do have to wonder how some of these people ever made it to adulthood in one piece. This man really thought this would work. That’s pretty terrifying. “Had an old farmer come into the ED one day with a severely infected wound on his head. It turned out he had a growth developing on his head for the past few weeks (which turned out to be a tumor). He had been treating it with RoundUp (a potent weed killer) because “that s**t kills everything “…” It’s a wonder how he never killed his crops or farm animals if this is the way he thought of things.

Theatre

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Duct tape does not fix everything, especially medical conditions.

“I responded to a 9-1-1 call for a man bleeding. Supposedly the guy had an angiogram (catheter stuck in the artery near your groin to look at the blood vessels near your heart for blockages) earlier that day and was released with explicit instructions not to mess with the bulky dressing. The old coot decides to “adjust” it, causing it to open and pouring blood out his artery. What does the guy do? He puts duct tape all around his groin. Not just a few pieces, no, all attached to his junk and up and down the leg. It was a noble attempt but did not do much to control the arterial pulsations.”

MyRecipes

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Food is for your mouth, not your eyes — or for medical conditions!

We are supposed to eat food. We are not supposed to put it in or on anywhere else in the body but our mouth. However, some people may argue that you can use certain foods to treat certain ailments. Obviously, this guy who came in with a condition did not think about his home remedy thing all the way through first. “My patient was instilling honey in his eyes to “treat his cataracts and glaucoma”… what. Yes, he came in for conjunctivitis cause bacteria were having a party on his corneas.” Talk about a sweet lesson in life he had to learn.

Bored Panda

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Sadly, not all prayers receive an answer.

Some people believe in putting all their faith into prayers, thinking that you can pray away an illness. As anyone with a brain would know, you can’t get rid of a sickness or condition by bowing your head and praying for a cure. However, that’s not the case for these people. “One kid’s parents canceled the surgery to repair his ACL because people had prayed for him at their church the Sunday beforehand, which had apparently cured him. They called and scheduled surgery later in the week.” It’s safe to say that maybe they learned their lesson in when to pray and when to let doctors take the reins.

BBC

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Always remember to brush your teeth, children. Otherwise, you can have some nasty medical conditions.

“I know a doctor. She told me a story (EDIT: that she heard from another doctor) about how this guy came into the ER, an absolute nervous wreck. He was brushing his teeth for the first time in a couple of years (he was homeless and couldn’t afford toothbrushes or toothpaste) when he found a maggot in his mouth. This frequently happened over the course of 3 days, and he self-diagnosed himself with oral myiasis. Now, this guy was bats**t afraid of bugs, so he tried to get ’em out via the quickest way possible – ipecac. He didn’t think that one through and ended up vomiting shiploads of maggots before calling 911. The doc sympathized with him. I’d freak out, too, if I barfed up fifty maggots. S**t’s scary.”

Wiki

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Ahh, the good old fashion game of Will They Live or Will They Die?

“I used to work in a lab in a hospital in a rural town. I got a stool sample from the ER that was basically a blood clot the size of a golf ball. Sometimes the ER gets mixed up and sends me the wrong specimen, like some kind of body fluid, and labels it as urine, for example. I called the patient’s nurse and asked what the deal was with the patient, and if it was really stool they sent up. The nurse I talked to say the patient thought he’d eaten bad pork and, to prevent food poisoning, drank a concoction of bleach, rubbing alcohol, vodka, ibuprofen, and some Tums.”

YouTube

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Sir, that is NOT how that works.

“Patient comes into the ED with an abscess. He tells us he knew he had an infection and so ate a pound and a half of raw steak to get the antibiotics given to the cow.” If he thought this was how he could get antibiotics into his system, he may want to pick up a book and read a little. Some people really should leave this sort of thing up to the specialists to handle when it comes to treating things, especially if they think that this sort of thing would actually work.

Instructables

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That is not how they treat any medical conditions.

“Had a Marine stick a Q-tip up his d*** dipped in hand sanitizer because he thought he got the clap in Thailand. That’s not what Navy medical does, guy.” Talk about a stinger. Not only does this man potentially have the clap, but he also has to deal with the stinging pain of something going up his urethra and having that thing be covered in hand sanitizer, to boot. This was not a smart decision on this guy’s part. Maybe next time, he will learn to practice safe s**. Just to be clear, there is no sort of medical condition that would require this sort of treatment.

Shutterstock

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Hot metal will definitely do some damage.

“I’m a nursing student, and one of my patients had an earache, so he decided to hold his daughter’s bobby pin to a candle for roughly 5 minutes and then shoved it in the ear that hurt. He is now deaf in that ear and was on fall precautions since he couldn’t walk straight. As a bonus, I was able to listen to every episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air that was on that day wherever I was on the floor because the TV was on the loudest volume possible.” Too bad this kid had to suffer from his dad’s stupidity.

Daily Star

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Do NOT try to pull your own teeth… especially not with a screwdriver

“Dentist reporting in: I had a guy who had tried to pry his own tooth out with a screwdriver. It did not go well.” Not only does this sound stupid, but also quite painful! Maybe this guy was trying to save money, or maybe he has a fear of dentist offices. Whatever the reason may be for his choosing to pull his own tooth out with a screwdriver, it wasn’t a very good one. Hopefully, he learned his lesson on why you should leave certain things to the professionals. They know what they’re doing. Plus, they have the proper tools and equipment to do those sorts of tasks.

IFLScience

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It seems that not all old wives’ tales are something you should believe in when it comes to medical conditions.

“I am an EMT who works in the ER. We once had a patient who spilled hot grease all over his arms after a small fryer accident. This happened with the patient’s In-laws, who happened to be Chinese. Apparently, an old wives’ tale in China says to treat burns with a layer of toothpaste and rock salt. Not wanting to offend his In-laws, he goes along with this do-it-yourself treatment. I think I spent about three hours that evening picking rock salt out of 2nd-degree burns and then cleaning out all the now-dried toothpaste.”

CBS

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Not all stomach pains experienced by women are due to menstrual cramps.

“I have a buddy that is a medic in the United States Navy. One time when he was on leave and in town, we and all of our mutual friends were hanging out, shooting the s**t before a night of typical drunken shenanigans was surely to begin. He then proceeded to tell me multiple stories which I could not believe. I have forgotten pretty much all of them except for one… He told me how a young (late teens, early 20s) woman came in complaining of severe stomach pain. He was expecting to diagnose her with menstrual cramps or something else rudimentary and gave her basic pain meds etc.”

Pixar

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Ladies! Potatoes belong on your plate, not in your “you know what.”

“She came back less than a week later, complaining that the pain had only increased. He decided to send her for an X-ray to get it checked out. He could not believe what the results showed. It **appeared** like roots of some sort were twisting and turning inside her abdomen and proceeding to wrap around her spine. Apparently, as a form of do-it-yourself birth control, this young lady had followed her mother’s instructions and cut the end off a potato and stuck it all the way up in her vajayjay. Well, in a damp, moist environment, it began to thrive, as well as partially rot. I cannot even imagine what her gyno must have said, but this story had me in a cold sweat, near dry heaving. Easily tops one of the most disturbing stories I’ve ever heard. Edit: Emphasis on **appeared**. He did not say it WAS wrapped around her spine. Just that’s what it LOOKED like it was about to do.”

Health

Where Only the Most Elite Get Their Healthcare

If you want to be part of the elite, you need access to elite healthcare. And elite healthcare means only the very best doctors, hospitals, and… Trista Smith - November 13, 2022

If you want to be part of the elite, you need access to elite healthcare. And elite healthcare means only the very best doctors, hospitals, and treatments money can buy. For most people, this is simply not an option. But for the wealthy and powerful, it’s a given. They can afford to pay for the best of everything, including their health. This article would blow your mind if you thought you had seen it all. So, if you’re looking for top-notch medical care, don’t look elsewhere. I’ll show you the very best in the US, as well as some extraordinary choices from across the world. Hang tight and listen up because you are about to learn where the rich and famous go for their medical needs. Not only do these luxury hospitals have the best of the best in specialists, equipment, and services, but they offer first-class amenities. Some places offer personal chefs, luxury thread count sheets, and other hotel-like opportunities that will make you forget you are in the hospital. From heart surgery to maternity care, these medical care facilities are simply amazing. Check out where only the most elite get their healthcare.

New York Post

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Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, California

The Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Beverly Hills, California, is coming in at number one. Voted number one in California and number two in the Nation by US News & World Report’s Best Hospitals Honor Roll. And if that’s not enough for you, I mean, getting tippity-top-care, you may even room next to a Hollywood star, how about that? No seriously. It costs $1,000 to $3,000 a night for one of their luxurious suites is no joke. But living life as the top 1% just does not compare. The whole hospital does not have that price tag, but they have dedicated an entire floor to VIP access. This hospital not only has raving reviews from the patients and world-class publications but also is pretty high up there as far as employee satisfaction. I guess dealing with patients at such high levels does come with a reward.

High earnings and amazing employee perks are the order of the day. And along with that comes the gorgeous facility itself. From the outside, it looks more like you are arriving at a JW Marriott hotel than an actual medical facility. With perfectly manicured gathering areas and glass windows from top to bottom, you don’t miss any gorgeous Beverly Hills views. This place is a favorite among expectant celebrities. Surrounded by original works of art from Warhols and Picassos with rooms equipped with every luxury you can imagine. Gourmet meals, luxury linens and beds, cozy rubs, and doulas are some things these moms can expect in their maternity suites. But again, aside from the luxuries, it is a medical center that has pioneered neurosurgical and organ transplant programs.

Cleveland Clinic

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Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio

Chances are you’ve googled a medical question and advice from Cleveland Clinic has popped up. They offer the best advice, research, education, and healthcare in the state of Ohio — and practically the entire country. Consistently ranked number one in the nation for cardiology and heart surgery, there’s no doubt of the medical ranking at the Cleveland Clinic. This medical group counts more than three hundred facilities across the US, and they truly offer top-grade patient care even if you are not paying for their top-of-the-line accommodations. But for those with a little extra cash in their pocket, the Cleveland Clinic has an option called the Founders Suites (G71). Insurance does not usually cover it. They are in the G building at that complex medical location. The price ranges from $600 to $1,500 a night.

All of them have high-speed internet, endless cable TV packages, and newer bathrooms to fit the patient’s spending budget. Needless to say, these are all private suites, but they have limits and cannot take reservations. Those patients willing to pay are on a first come basis since they are assigned as per the admission date. In addition to those accommodations for the patients, Cleveland Clinic also cares about their patient’s family members. The suites have separate seating areas and will accommodate extra beds for those family members staying overnight. So, you know they don’t have to go through the painful experience of sleeping on an upright single hard chair, as we commoners have had to endure. And to top off the experience in luxury, each of those suites comes with a dedicated gourmet menu that will be tailored to the patient’s eating requirements as well as the family’s particular wishes.

The Baltimore Banner

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Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Massachusetts

The Johns Hopkins Hospital is a world-renowned hospital that sets the standard for patient care, research, and education. This medical facility is the teaching and biomedical research facility of the John Hopkins School of Medicine. It is located right in the center of Baltimore. This facility not only ranks with top medical care but has made a pocket space to accommodate those patients with higher expectations. It has about fifteen rooms, including some suites, with prices ranging from $325 to $1,300 a night. Although the accommodations are not brand new, they all have expansive views of the historic John Hopkins Baltimore Campus and downtown Baltimore.

Much like a nice hotel, each room has oriental throw rugs, DVD players, TV, and CD players in their alarm radios. To make the patient’s care more comfortable, they can enjoy waffle-weave robes. A tuxedo staff delivers all of the meals. Wonder where they got that from? Well, one of the coolest things at this medical location is that the staff’s exceptional customer service methodology. They follow the training from Disney and the Ritz Carlton! So, you may not necessarily get the most modern shower, but you sure will be getting treated like you are on vacation, and wouldn’t we all wish for that at times when we are feeling the most vulnerable?

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The Methodist Hospital in Houston, Texas

Methodist Hospital is ranked the number one hospital in all of Texas and counts a total of 900 beds and more than seven thousand employees. It is the flagship quaternary care hospital of Houston Methodist academic medical center and among the best for a holistic approach to treating cancer patients. Among those 900 beds, the Methodist Hospital has dedicated 23 suites for their top-of-the-line out-of-pocket paying patients. These suites are in the Sue Fondren Trammell Pavilion. Prices range from $335 to $1,300 out-of-pocket per night. The suites are on the twelve floors of the medical facility with views of the city and attendants trained to care for high-demand and international patients.

The facility boasts conference centers with high-speed internet and conference tables ready for any mogul that requires hospitalization. And in addition to room service, the designated suite floor also counts with its own private dining room separate from the hospitals. The food is of superior quality as the main chef was formally trained at the renowned Tony’s steakhouse. With cloudy-feeling linens and fine accommodations inside the suites, this level of care is accessible if you can spare the extra bucks. The Methodist Hospital has patient referrals from inside Texas and all over the US.

Medicine Georgetown Edu

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MedStar Washington Hospital Center in Washington DC

Washington Hospital’s luxurious private suites are designed to look like five-star hotel rooms. The thick carpeting on the floors and heated towel racks offer an ultra-pampering experience that is not necessarily a need but sure feels nice to have. Patients enjoy gorgeous views of DC’s National Cathedral from their room or suite bathroom. Plus, they can indulge in style with marble vanity tops and dual sinks. And for those particularly hard days while in hospital care, patients can use the suite’s soaking tub for ultimate relaxation after surgery!

As pretty much standard for these types of accommodations, patients can enjoy gourmet meals prepared onsite by the in-house highly trained chef. And when you feel like you are human again, the view on the corridors is adorned with fine art pieces, so you can forget that you are in a medical facility. This medical facility specializes in cardiac care, neuroscience, cancer, gastrointestinal disorders, endocrinology, transplants, and burns. And it is the largest privately owned medical facility in all of Washington, DC. Keep reading to learn more about where the most elite get healthcare, and which luxury hospitals are around the world.

New York Post

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Fortis La Femme Hospital in New Delhi, India

And taking a trip worldwide, let’s visit the Fortis La Femme Hospital in India. India is a developing nation and counts as the world’s sixth-largest economy. The Fortis La Femme Hospital in New Delhi is a world-renowned medical facility specifically focused on women-related medical problems. It is a well-known medical tourist destination that treats everything from obstetrics and gynecology to in vitro fertilization. There is also fetal medicine, neonatology, cosmetic surgery, and general surgery. The facility itself is modern and cutting-edge, with comfortable and beautiful-looking gathering areas for the patients and their guests.

Their most popular rooms are the four top-of-the-line delivery rooms. And for the patient with some money to spare, the presidential suite is available. With an open balcony with panoramic views, all the luxurious amenities you can think of inside the suite, and even a kid’s playground. Yes, because if you have a second or third child, you definitely want to keep the first one entertained. And to top the luxuries off, as if they didn’t have enough, the facility is full of artwork in the hallways, and the gathering common places are just like being inside the most expensive malls. Because well, it is a women-focused medical facility. Between tests and needles, you can roam the mall, do some shopping, sit, and watch one of the dancing fountains.

Love that Design.

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Mediclinic City Hospital in Dubai, UAE

As the modern poster child for high tech and luxurious lifestyle as a whole, Dubai could not fall behind when talking about medical accommodations. And to prove they really can excel at anything, they have the Mediclinic City Hospital. Within this multidisciplinary medical facility in the United Emirates, you will find their twelve suites located in their VIP flood, where only 1% can afford such accommodations. And they certainly don’t hesitate to spare any details.

To begin with, a limousine service transfers the patients paying for such accommodations. Upon arrival, they will access the facility through their private and exclusive entrance, where you will check in. They will guide you to one of their premier suites. Patients and their guests receive a private indoor swimming pool, sauna, jacuzzi, spa, and gym on this exclusive VIP floor. As if when you are feeling sick, you really want to partake in that? But I think they were thinking more of their family members not being completely bored from accompanying their loved ones. Of those twelve rooms, six are state-of-the-art suites, and five are presidential suites.

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Matilda International Hospital in Hong Kong

Matilda International Hospital is a well-known private hospital in Hong Kong. It is known for its personalized patient care and state-of-the-art technology. Sitting atop Victoria Peak, Matilda’s main facility has been serving communities since 1907, when it began to provide free healthcare for overseas Filipino workers returning home from England. The founder set out in his will the planned construction of an institution “not solely focused towards the medical profession but rather focused on serving the happiness of the individual.” What a beautiful statement and mission.

This medical facility is right on top of Victoria Peak, a historical landmark in Hong Kong. And its luxury suites have a breathtaking view of the South China Sea as seen through the suites’ floor-to-ceiling windows. But the views don’t come cheap. They start at a price tag of $4,800 per night, with maternity packages starting at $5,200 per night with a three-night stay and accommodations in one of the balcony suites. This hospital is well known for its pediatric and surgical wards, providing top-of-the-line patient care. All the food for the VIP suites comes from the Shangri-La Hotel chain which in Hong Kong is like referring to the best-tasting steak house you can find in the US.

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Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City

Jumping back across the pond to America. Ahh, New York, the icon of power, luxury, and literally, the richest of the rich. If you have ever visited, you were taken aback by the conglomeration of tall and powerful-looking buildings, the busy streets, and the fast pace of life. That is until you hit Central Park. At first, you can’t imagine how such a peaceful and beautiful oasis exists amidst such a hard-looking city. And not to sound poetic, but this is true happiness without a price tag. But if your trip leads you there due to a medical procedure, rest assured that money will not buy you happiness or health. However, it can buy you a suite at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, beautifully located on the East side of Central Park.

Renowned for offering the most luxurious of accommodations for any mogul that can afford it. Of course, it is not just about the accommodations since this is also a world-renowned teaching medical facility with members of the faculty, past, and present. They all have made large contributions to the world of medicine and medical research.

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More About Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City

But back to the accommodations. The suites have an elegant yet modern and simplistic aesthetic to not cloud the gorgeous nature view of Central Park. With a top culinary menu and visitation allowed around the clock, patients can feel more like they are at home than at a medical facility. At the same time, they are away from the hustle and buzzle of the city outside.

Did I mention the parting gift is Belgian chocolate? But I mean, why would you want to leave if, while inside, you have offerings such as daily afternoon tea and meals prepared by top chefs using mostly local and organic ingredients? This new world of luxury medical care is no small accomplishment, and facilities like this can gross over $1 million dollars a year just from those VIP suites alone. It’s no wonder the industry is expanding with more and more rooms available at this standard. Keep reading to learn more about where the most elite get healthcare, and which luxury hospitals are around the world.

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Bumrungrad International Hospital in Bangkok, Thailand

We can land in Bangkok when heading west and crossing a big stretch of the Pacific Ocean. Bangkok is a city of contrasts. Modern high-rise buildings stand alongside traditional temples, and luxury hotels line the banks of the Chao Praya River. But it’s not just the architecture that makes Bangkok such an interesting place; it’s the people. From the young Thai women who work in the city’s many shopping malls to the Buddhist monks who wander the streets collecting alms, Bangkok is a melting pot of different cultures and traditions. And then there are the city’s notorious traffic jams, which can make getting around Bangkok a very frustrating experience! But despite all its challenges, Bangkok remains one of Southeast Asia’s most fascinating and vibrant cities.

And in that most vibrant of cities, you will find the Bumrungrad International Hospital, which makes the list of the world’s most luxurious medical facilities. And it is also a high point of interest for medical tourists. This facility alone tends to more than 400,000 medical patients a year! They are so popular that the facility has an in-house travel agency to help patients accommodate travel from around the world.

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More About Bumrungrad International Hospital in Bangkok, Thailand

They offer procedures in all medical specialties. Patients can expect updated accommodations loaded with luxuries and high-tech rooms when they stay there. In addition, you can surely enjoy shopping and dining in your free time, since the facility offers two whole floors completely devoted to that.

The atmosphere of luxury is set inside the rooms, starting with the color choices. It is geared towards light and warmth, making visitors feel like they are taking a break at a spa. And the common areas feel secluded, with dim lighting and manicured greeneries to calm your mind and ease your body. There is no way that while inside, you could feel the vibrancies and hectic life moving outside its walls. Keep reading to learn more about where the most elite get healthcare, and which luxury hospitals are around the world.

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Asklepios Klinik Barmbek in Hamburg, Germany

Where do you find the most expensive of all medical facilities in all of continental Europe? If you said Germany, you would have been right. But before I tell you about it, let me tell you why in Germany. Germany is best known for its economic strength and position as a leading member of the European Union. There is so much to this country. That includes some of the world’s most beautiful scenery, like the snow-capped Alps and the winding Rhine River. Not only that but also their cars and watches. What comes to mind when you think of Germany to me is discipline, luxury, and precision.

This is no small feat since the country has been at the center of two world wars. And when talking about medicine, they are not lacking behind. Asklepios Klinik Barmbek leads continental Europe as the most expensive and largest medical facility. But size is not a handicap for offering excellent accommodations and service. The hospital caters to patients with pediatric needs all the way to general surgery, staying abreast of the latest technology to provide top-of-the-line patient care. Their deluxe suites are known to have the most comfortable medical beds in the world, don’t ask me who had that joyful task of deciphering it! But if having the best sleep while hospitality is not enough for you, it sure would be for me. Then I am sure the 24-hour room service will seal the deal.

Interior of a luxury sweet in Gleneagles, Singapore. Luxury Launches.

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Gleneagles Hospital in Singapore

Gleneagles Hospital, Singapore, is a world-renowned medical institution that offers a wide range of treatments and services. Founded in 1976, the hospital has a long history of excellence in patient care. Today, it offers a comprehensive range of medical services, from general health check-ups to specialist treatments. The hospital is also home to a state-of-the-art research center, which is constantly developing new and innovative treatments. In addition to its world-class medical facilities, Gleneagles Hospital also offers a wide range of recreational and leisure facilities. From swimming pools and tennis courts to a gym and spa, the hospital provides everything you need to relax and enjoy your stay. Whether you are seeking treatment, this is certainly a luxurious offer.

Their suites are equipped with oversized bathrooms, high-speed internet, and DVD players to enjoy whichever movie you want during your stay. But come on, that is pretty standard in our list. How about the private nurse? Yes, I mean private, exclusively for you. That is, with a personal stylist on call or the ability to book a massage during your medical stay. How about that? If that does not speak luxury to you, not sure what else can. It is truly a place of excellence in patient care. And before you leave, you can book a private celebration with cocktails with a maximum of ten people if you are feeling celebratory about the birth of your newborn or the recuperation of your loved one. Keep reading to learn more about where the most elite get healthcare, and which luxury hospitals are around the world. Keep reading to learn more about where the most elite get healthcare, and which luxury hospitals are around the world.

Henry Ford Hospital

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Henry Ford Hospital, West Bloomfield, Michigan

Michigan is home to one of the best hospitals in the country. In 1978, Henry Ford West Bloomfield Hospital first opened its doors to patients in Michigan, USA. Henry Ford Hospital is a state-of-the-art facility that offers a full range of services, from primary care to specialty care. It is popular for its maternity services to cardiovascular and surgical procedures. The hospital is also home to a world-class cancer center, which provides cutting-edge treatments for patients battling this disease. But this hospital makes our list for its medical treatments, luxurious accommodations, and exquisite facility. Meticulously designed with the aesthetics of a tropical park in mind, the facility has natural light, manicured greenery, and rainwater collections.

All the most exclusive private suites have views of lush landscapes or peaceful ponds with light and cream colors to create a space full of serenity no matter the reason for your visit. The facility’s interior corridors feature many trees, winding walkways, and plenty of seating areas, more in line with what a sanctuary may look like than a medical facility. And to make welcoming mothers as comfortable as possible, the suites in that unit have Jacuzzis tubs. You can welcome the new bundle of joy in complete relaxation and comfort.

New York Post

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New York-Presbyterian / Weill Cornell in Manhattan, New York

Let’s head back to the Big Apple. At the NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center, they believe that each of their patients deserves the highest quality care. And they make it their mission to tend to the body and soul’s needs during those tough times in life! Located in Manhattan, this has been a point of reference for the very wealthy because, in addition to their medical advancements and access to the latest technology, they offer the most elite top-level accommodations and, most importantly, privacy and security.

Their VIP suites offer views of the river and come with the highest thread count bed sheets. And the bathrooms, oh the bathrooms, are constructed of marble and come with Molton Brown toiletries. Say no more. But wait! The suites all have a fully stocked minibar, and the chef will prepare, on demand, whatever you desire. Patients can enjoy these delicious and custom meals in their room or the VIP private eating room. Not only are the suites expansive, but many of them offer to join suites which, if you are willing and can afford it, can be booked for the family member keeping you company during your stay. And you know by now, the mind blowing price tag will run you from $500 to $3,000 per night. That is cash on top of what insurance covers.

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Boca Regional Hospital in Boca Raton, Florida

The 400-bed Boca Raton Regional Hospital is a not-for-profit healthcare organization that dates back to 1967. It provides patient services such as cardiovascular treatment and oncology therapies for patients with cancers of various types. It is popular because of its breast cancer treatments. They are in an affluent community in South Florida. Their luxury suites are famous as the Rockwell Suites. The price tag for these accommodations starts at $800 per night and goes all the way to $1,500 per night.

Each suite comes with a full-time concierge, and the selection of curated menu is served to patients and up to two guests in Mikasa china. The bathrooms showcase marble throughout, and guests can stay overnight in comfortable pull-out sofa beds to accompany their loved ones. Each suite has two flat-screen televisions, and the VIP floor even has a private library for premium patients. A medical facility like this sees itself more like a destination than a community hospital, which is why it can think outside the box and offer amenities that patients, willing to pay to be most comfortable, are looking for nowadays. Being in such a vacation spot, you can get discharged from the hospital after getting better and be in the perfect sunny spot to take in the beaches, the sun, and the salty air. Keep reading to learn more about where the most elite get healthcare, and which luxury hospitals are around the world.

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Mount Elizabeth Novena Hospital (MNH) in Singapore

Here is another amazing elite hospital in Singapore! Mount Elizabeth Novena Hospital, or MNH as people call it, is a private hospital in Singapore. It is a level III hospital with state-of-the-art facilities. The hospital has over 30 clinics catering to different medical and health needs. MNH is also a teaching hospital affiliated with Duke-NUS Medical School. The hospital has accreditation by the Joint Commission International (JCI). JCI is the gold standard in accreditation for hospitals worldwide. For the patients, this means they know they are receiving the highest quality of care. But the hospital’s mission is not just to be regarded as high in international accreditations but to be committed to delivering excellent patient care.

This value has also positioned the medical facility at the top of the medical luxury options in Singapore. All the suite rooms are single-bedded, so privacy is of utmost importance. Their views are inspiring, and the room features expansive marble bathrooms and the finest of linens. Of course, privacy with locked building floors and limousine transfers are part of the package. Again, in places like Singapore, the existence of facilities like these are a result of the growing need for medical tourism. The reality is that even with all the amenities and luxuries, many patients from around the world need serious and expensive procedures they cannot afford in their home countries.

Mayo Clinic

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Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota

Surely, you have heard of this luxury medical care facility. You probably even use the Mayo Clinic site for a lot of your reliable healthcare info. This elite hospital is a nonprofit academic medical center. It focuses on healthcare as well as research and education. Mayo Clinic in Rochester is ranked as one of the best hospitals in America and around the globe. Adult and pediatric specialties are available this general medical and surgical facility. It is the best hospital in the state, and offers some of the top Diabetes & Endocrinology, Gastroenterology & GI Surgery, Pulmonology & Lung Surgery, and Urology in the country.
Mayo Clinic knows how to care for sick, medically complex patients. People come from all over the world. Why? Because Mayo Clinic performs nearly the highest number of transplants in the United States, including both solid organ and hematologic transplantation. Not only that, but experts qat Mayo Clinic strive to solve the toughest medical problems around the world, one person at a time. No matter how serious and complex — or rare — they are ready to face the challenge with ongoing research, education, and the utmost in elite healthcare practices. Keep reading to learn more about where the most elite get healthcare, and which luxury hospitals are around the world.
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The Truth Behind These Luxuries

Are you wishing you could visit these elite healthcare facilities during your time of need? There is no doubt that the growing number of self-made millionaires coupled with the aging population has given rise to these types of offerings in recent years. Who would have thought only fifty years ago to be talking about making the hospital stay so enjoyable that the patient may not want to leave? But if that patient is shelling out thousands of dollars a night, why not? Although it sounds all so luxurious, the reality is that most of these places were not to turn a profit just with those offering alone. The majority of patients are still people like you and me, bound by insurance with the care directly tied to its limitations.

The bigger goal for medical facilities such as the ones listed here is to treat those few high spenders so well and make their stay so unforgettable that they may, in the future, turn into donors, and that’s where the money is. The real truth, and good news to us, is that the thread count does not determine baseline medical care. Furthermore, if the patient is bathing inside marble bathrooms does not matter. The expertise of the doctors and medical advancements are more important. A plethora of things relate to medical care. That includes innovation and high standards of the medical facilities in this article. If you are ever in the privilege to have the money to receive care in one of these, don’t hesitate for a second. Indeed, money cannot buy happiness. However, it is equally true that it’s more comfortable to cry in a Ferrari than in a Corolla.

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