22. Seeing a Viking’s fury on full display at the gym.
“I was minding my own business doing free-weights when this huge red-headed Viking comes and sits at the bench next to me, grabs the biggest weight there, and then looks at himself in the mirror and starts screaming, “YOU’RE A WARRIOR” as he does his reps. I had to run out of the room so that I wouldn’t laugh my ass off at him and get torn in two by his inevitable Viking fury.” Reddit user clrtxf was probably right in taking this approach and getting out of there as quickly as they could!
Some people need to be their own hype person in the gym. This can look like pumping yourself up with techno music before going into the gym or during your workout. Many people also listen to inspirational talks or podcasts during their workouts too. In this case, this “Viking Warrior” has a mantra, and if that works the best for him, that is great! “You’re a warrior” or “you’re the best” could work if you don’t want to get as many strange looks from your fellow gym attendees. Saying it in your head to yourself can work just as well.
21. Being naked in the gym makes everyone uncomfortable.
“Belonged to one gym and didn’t know anybody, so pretty much kept to myself. There was the obligatory ‘very comfortable naked guy’ who would wander the locker room. He would try to talk to anybody who would listen (all while very naked), but most people would let the conversation peter (ha!) out and turn away. It was then he’d find a new person to make uncomfortable.” Putting on my clothes might be the first step to making more friends and making people feel comfortable around you. It is not the norm to carry conversations out while naked.
Monkeytorture, the Reddit user, continues, “One day it was my turn, and he started talking to me as I was tying my shoes. I gave quick one-word answers, but he wasn’t moving. My brain decided to quote The Sandlot, and before I could stop it, I said, “you’re killing me, smalls.” I don’t think the naked guy would’ve been offended had the locker room not erupted with laughter. He moved on, and I felt bad, mainly because I’m sure most people didn’t even connect it with The Sandlot.” The Sandlot is a very popular movie, so hopefully, some of the locker rooms connected it.
“I worked at a YMCA gym for about a year, and this happened during my last week there. A young guy, about 16, came in as a guest of a member. Part of my job was to basically do laps around the gym to check on everything, and on one of my laps, I see this guy has his shirt off. It’s policy to keep shirts on, so I ask him to put it back on. He says okay. I lap again, and the shirt is still off. Ask him again to put it on. He says okay. I’m rounding lap 3, and now I see his pants are off, too. Mind you, I’m a 19-year-old girl at the time, and I ask him to please get dressed, and he proceeds to tell me that I can’t limit his freedom of expression or something. “
“The boxers come off – the man is naked. I throw an exercise mat toward him, tell his friend to dear god, please contain this guy, and run to get my boss (also a petite woman). We run back and basically surround him holding exercise mats, acting sort of like censor bars. We’re begging him to get dressed, and he starts, I’m not kidding, doing karate moves, kicking and flailing around with his junk all everywhere. We eventually have his friend call his parents. He starts CRYING and comes at my boss. At this point, his friend takes him down, and we call the police.” Reddit user Andsoitis Summarizes perfectly, “TL;DR Guy comes into the gym and has a weird mental break, gets naked and does karate.”
“Worst gym experience, not very funny. Well, it might be if you’re a d*bag. I am a 4’11” female. So, I am overweight. I went to the gym in my apartment complex late at night because I thought there was a greater likelihood that no one would be there. Yes, I wanted to lose weight. I worked out for about 20 minutes before these guys came in. Then I thought about leaving but thought, “why should I?” And continued to work out. I had my headphones on, but every time I turned my head, I saw them pointing and laughing. At this point, I just didn’t give a crap. Why should I care what some chuckle heads think?
After I had worked out for about 45 minutes, I started to leave. As I was walking out the door, I noticed that one of the guys was following me.” Ohsnipsnap, unfortunately, continues with the story not getting any better: “He started running circles around me calling me obscene names and asking me I’d suck his junk for a pizza, etc. Generally humiliating and rape-y things to say. At one point, he just started thrusting at me. He followed me until the building before mine (I was seriously considering just walking around the complex again because I didn’t want this idiot to know where I lived.). And then he left for no apparent reason. It took me a week to get the courage to go back to the gym at night, but when I did, I brought pepper spray. Never saw those guys again, though.”
“I worked at a gym for six years… one day, an old man (65ish) came from the locker room and approached me. He said, “I don’t know what I did in there, but it won’t go down.” and walked away. I went in, and the smell hit me instantly. The stall had a turd (NO exaggeration) the size of my arm, from elbow to the fingertips. One turd. No break in the line. I was equal parts amazed and disgusted. When you flushed the toilet, the water would (try to) swirl around it and go down, revealing the monster in all of its girth.”
“We let it sit there for a couple of days to soften up so we could push it down. It stank the whole time. I have a video on one of my old cell phones. I will try and find it.” Fioricascastlesummarizes with “TL;DR- some old man took a monumental crap that wouldn’t flush down the toilet” Dealing with human waste can be extremely hazardous. It may have been a good idea to call a professional plumber, in this case, to deal with the mess. With a plumber, they are knowledgeable about how to properly handle clogs.
“I’ve been working out the better part of my life and have had quite a few, what the hell moments: In high school, I watched a guy squatting close to 500 lbs dip down to parallel, crap all over the floor, come close to fainting (he may have actually lost consciousness, I can’t remember), and then drop the weight on some other guy’s foot. In college at a private gym, I saw one of those huge rubber balls get sucked under a treadmill. It flipped the treadmill on top of the girl running, seriously injuring her. The same gym as above, I was working out when the power suddenly shut off. One of the guys on a treadmill just kept running and flipped himself over the front of the treadmill.”
“On 9/11, I was in my gym’s shower room. The television starts airing information about the event, and I start watching, mesmerized. When the news station cut to commercial, I turned away and was a mere inch from some old guy’s junk. He apparently decided to stand, butt naked, on top of one of the benches in order to get a better view. In grad school, I would go to the track and run while the track and field people practiced. Also, I saw a sprinter slam head-on into an oblivious coach. I think that’s it. I know I’m too late in the thread for up-votes, but I wanted to share anyway.” Washington__irving has definitely had their fair share of weird gym experiences.
A pretty big girl that I know was in the gym on one of the elliptical machines. Some girls, younger, incredibly skinny, like little beanpoles, started taking pictures of her with their phones, laughing and pointing, etc. I was going to go over there and tell them to leave her alone, but before I even moved, someone else moved in: this a monster of a woman probably 6’2”, totally muscle-tastic, pro bodybuilder style. She grabbed both of them by the back of the neck and said, “Get the f* out of my gym. Now. You’re gone.” and physically ejected them.
They started to meander back in after a few minutes, saying, “oh, we need our stuff.” Again, the monster had already gathered up their stuff from their lockers, threw it at them, and just screamed at them to get out. I talked to her afterward, and it turns out she was one of the managers. I was pretty happy to see that. The comedy of it came later when I replayed the image of a Conan-the-Barbarian-like woman who gave the toss to a couple of girls with a combined weight of probably 180 lbs. Apullin was lucky to get this moment on camera!
“I was on the treadmill just getting up to my second mile straight, which is my warm down from the rest of my routine, and I suddenly knew I was about to be sick. I jumped off the treadmill, leaving my stuff on it, and you know how you feel like you’re moving really fast just after coming off a treadmill? Yeah, I did. I went straight over on my back, and projectile vomited right up in the air, and it came back down and landed on my face. Luckily, it was really watery sick with no chunks, so it didn’t take long to clean up.”
“But it was a bad day.” Spectacularity, it’s no wonder they had a bad day. It is odd that they were in the middle of their cool down before puking. So often we see in these stories, it is right when the person is in the middle of pushing themselves too hard that they throw up. It must have been a particularly hard workout to puke after the fact. Hopefully, not too many people saw this rather disgusting incident happen. Like they said, at least it was easy to clean up. Next time, maybe they won’t push themselves to that point.
“I grew up in New Orleans (the San Francisco of the south) and was a member of the YMCA gym. I’m pretty sure that if you Google “A meat-market where gay dudes come to show off and hook up for casual sex,” the top result would be the YMCA Gym in New Orleans. Anyway, it was a great gym, and I’m not a homophobe, so it didn’t bother me or anything. But it’s the only gym where I’ve seen a guy lifting free weights in front of a mirror with like six other dudes standing behind him, watching him work out and openly admiring his “assets.”
“I also learned that if a gay dude flirts with you, even though you are 100% not interested, it’s still kind of flattering. “Hey man, not interested, but thanks for noticing! I DO put a lot of work into my calves!” “moby323 is right here, it’s always nice to get compliments from other people, even if they may have more intentions in mind than just being nice. If you are around other people today, try giving them a compliment “Your hair looks nice today” for example. It will make you feel good, as well as the person on the receiving end.
“I saw some guy, who was supposed to be spotting for his buddy on the bench press, pull the bar back off of the uprights after the person benching was clearly done with the set. The spotter was reaming out his friend for being a wimp and not being able to do anymore. The person benching was fighting the spotter, trying to get the bar back on the uprights, so the d*bag (spotter) pushes the bar down and continues to b*tch him out for not being able to get it off his chest. “
“I was ready to go and help the benching guy right before the spotter finally lifts the bar off of his friend with one hand, acting all macho. Later, the same guy (spotter) was doing some dumbbell bench presses with some 80lb dumbbells, and he made it a point to throw them as far forward as he could when he was done. My gym has plastered “DON’T DROP THE WEIGHTS” posters everywhere for a**holes like this guy. To top it all off, he was wearing a Monster energy drink beanie the entire time.” Griffun has explained perfectly the worst kind of gym, dude.
“I work at the rec center at my college. One day one of our managers ( college kid also) told the other attendant and me that someone got mud all over the floor of one of the showers and that we had to clean it up. We searched every shower for the said “mud,” but what we found was a perfectly curled-up crap in the corner of one of the showers. The other attendant and I played paper, rock, scissors to see who had to pick it up with the grocery bag we had brought to put the “mud” in.”
“Another time, one of the trainers came up to the front desk complaining that the pump soap in the men’s room he had used smelled funny. Upon further investigation, someone had unscrewed the soap bottle from under the sink, peed in it, and screwed it back on (it’s one of those soap dispensers where the pump part is attached to the top of the counter and the soap bottle screws in underneath the sink)” desperate. Hopefully, you never have to deal with human feces or fluids ever again. People can be really disgusting for no reason other than to be a nuisance.
“Several years back, a young and kind of attractive (some say) weather guy was a member at this fairly tiny gym. Anywho, my boyfriend and I are working out, and when I go to get water, I see him walk up to an employee (a very pretty, blonde, young lady) and says, word for word, “It’s getting kinda hot in here, SEXY HOT!” and then proceeds to try to flirt with her as she awkwardly walks away. My boyfriend and I quote that all the time and used to laugh every time we saw his cocky face on t.v.”
Emmapkmn, the Reddit user, had the pleasure of seeing what it’s like when a little bit of popularity gets to your head. Just because you are on TV or in the entertainment industry doesn’t mean people will want to flirt with you. This weatherman really needs to work on his pick-up lines and his way of talking to girls. It’s one thing to be confident, but this situation seems a bit too far. Maybe next time, a subtle compliment first, try carrying on some small talk, then ask for their number. That should have more luck than scaring them away.
“This one is worst / sad / “oh god why”: when I was in graduate school, I’d go to the university gym at about the same time every day, and I was friendly with some of the staff. I was chatting with one of the friendlier staff members there, and I told him I was a TA for a popular class, and he said he’d like to sit in on one of the lectures. At that exact moment, I was squirting water into my mouth, and I choked. It had nothing to do with what he said, though he interpreted it as me thinking he’s too dumb to go to my class.”
“I tried to apologize, but the damage was done.” ypsm, the Reddit user here, is the victim of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. It sucks, and this happens to the best of us. If the other person is not willing to listen or accept what you meant, then you just have to move on. If you know that you didn’t mean for something to sound or look how it did, then that’s all you can do. Maybe they were invited to the class later on, and it was sorted out. We can hope for the best outcome here.
9. When using the leg press (a.k.a fart machine) goes wrong.
“Went to a small town gym once. The place was completely empty, save for a cute, blonde girl working at the reception area. I decided to do some leg squats in billion-dollar-man slow-mo style, in my warped teen soft-porn-fueled mind thinking this would somehow lead to ferocious love-making later on with said cute blonde girl. This wasn’t just any conventional squatting machine, though. It required you to lay on your back and push the weights upwards. Anyhow, I got on the machine and did a couple of motions, got up, loaded more weights on, and repeated. This carried on until I clearly loaded on too much weight, but you cannot give up when trying to impress a girl, so I soldiered on.”
Keyboard_crusadercontinues, “I got to about the third lift when I started heaving and making muffled groaning noises. Have to do one more lift! Lift, lift, LIFT, dang it! And then it happened. A clear, unmistakable farting sound escaping and echoing in the very empty gym. I got up, threw my towel over my shoulder, and walked out. That gym never saw me ever again. EDIT: Thanks for clarifying that it was a leg press. I’ll still always remember it as the machine that gave my legs a good workout but totally ruined my chances with the hot blonde girl behind the gym’s counter.”
8. Falling flat on your face in the gym is embarrassing.
“I used to work at a gym in Fort McMurray (Northern Canada). At this gym, we kept our dumbbells on the ground, in little groove latch things because our rack kept breaking. The problem with this is you can easily trip on the handles. I’m also from England, so I have a somewhat pronounced accent. I was chatting up one of the women who came in, talking about her radio show. Some other guy came in, bald guy, signed the sheet, and left to do some warm-ups. He apparently was jealous that I was causing her to laugh and enjoy herself while he couldn’t.”
“He started to yell out, “OI. YOU BRITISH F*G!” and got up and started to walk towards me. Remember what I said about the dumbbells? Yeah. He tripped over one, face-planted on yoga/exercise ball, and then broke his nose when he bounced off of that.” “He then promptly left everything behind and ran out. He never came back for his stuff either, and after having it for three months, my boss said I could have his iPod and laptop.” [deleted] This Reddit user, unfortunately, deleted, has a great story. It pays to be nice. In this case, it paid in the form of an iPod and laptop.
7. Mexican food before a gym workout is a big no-no.
“I was in my college’s gym doing some sort of medicine ball sit-up and toss routine with a buddy of mine about an hour after having Mexican food at the school cafeteria. Everyone would come out of the main weight room and into this long hallway to do stretches and crunches, and that particular night it was pretty crowded, including half the cheerleading team and a number of otherwise cute girls. I was doing fine for the first set or two until we switched things up, where he’d throw the ball down, and I’d have to catch it, then throw it back.”
“On the first try, my buddy throws it down, and it basically knocks into my stomach, creating a massive, massive fart. Everyone, including myself, laughed like hell. Embarrassing? Yes. But I could have crapped my shorts.” Tarengo has provided us with one of the most important life lessons there is – it is not wise to eat Mexican food then do physical activity. Especially if this physical activity is with many other people. It’s best to wait until after the workout. That will save you from embarrassing farts or possible accident in the future. Try a protein bar before your workout next time.
“My class was at the gym, and a lot of them weren’t even trying to do anything. So I just got out my iPod and went on a treadmill by myself. I’m running at a fairly high speed, and then all of a sudden, I fly forward, get my body slammed on the controls smashing my head into a wall. So I go all woozy for a minute, and when my head starts spinning, I realize what had happened. One of the guys had been talking to some girls on the exercise bikes behind me while getting a medicine ball.”
“He put the medicine ball down on the ground, and it got sucked under the treadmill, firing me forward.” Sir_Roddrick is lucky he wasn’t seriously injured. That is a perfect example of why you should always be aware of what is around you when working with equipment. The person on the medicine ball should have moved farther away from the machine, ensuring that this type of accident wouldn’t happen. It is best to give the machines and people around you working out enough space. Right now, in 2021, you should be leaving around 6 feet of space between you and another person anyways.
“I used to go to a 24 Fitness at 11 pm every night. (Have a hard time sleeping). Almost every single time, there was only one other person in the gym, and it was an Asian girl that was extremely hot. After about a month, I finally started talking to her. Her personality was odd, but she was pretty flirty with me. One night she was spotting me while I was trying to see what my max was on the bench. My arms almost gave in, and she quickly squatted down to catch the weight, and her hip bone clocked my forehead.”
“She quickly ran out of the gym while looking pretty red in the face. The next day, I asked my buddy (who worked there) who she was, so I could figure out what happened. When I told him what happened, he started laughing really loud. It turns out it was her boner that hit me in the forehead, not the hip bone.” hp4e28summarizes, “TL;DR hot chick I talked to at the gym was a dude.” Sure, this is embarrassing for the guy who got in the head with an erection. However, it must have been even more embarrassing for the transgender woman. Hopefully, she was able to come back to the gym and forget that moment.
Oh, I have so many of these stories! I worked at a gym for two years, and you see your fair share of stupid. My personal worst: I was attempting 40 lbs dumbbells on a flat bench for the first time. My husband was watching football on the overhead TV instead of spotting me. When my arm has way mid rep, the dumbbell smashes right on my face. I also had to clean up several used condoms and a used douche from the women’s restroom on several different occasions (working). I had to clean up ejaculant off the urinal several times (working).
Embarrassing story: Assisting a rather large woman through a workout, we came upon a certain tricep machine. This lady was easily 250+ and could not fit on the machine. I offered to show her a similar workout with lightweight free weights, but she flipped her lid. She blamed me for not having equipment that was accessible to everyone blah blah blah. (working). I had a guy ask me to spot him on the bench simply so he could look up my shorts. I had to give him props because I didn’t even see it coming. (working). Then I caught a lesbian couple having sex in a tanning bed. Found a random black guy reading a comic in one of the tanning rooms after hours. Someone left an unpeeled banana on the tanning bed. I had to call the cops after finding an unresponsive female in a tanning bed. (working). Kep10, quite literally, has all the stories!
3. At least this embarrassing gym moment had a good outcome.
“I was at my college’s gym about a week after I had transferred there, and it was pretty empty. I was warming up on a bike, and from across the room, I saw a guy bench pressing with no spotter, and being a pretty careful gym rat, I kept my eye on him. Minutes later, he got tired and couldn’t get the bar up on the rack. It ended up crashing on his chest, and I could tell he wasn’t able to get it off. His face turned red, and he looked to be in a good amount of pain. I ran over and lifted the bar off – and he’s been one of my best friends ever since.”
Lou_The_Welterweight has probably the best outcome of any of the stories here. Gaining a best friend from an incident at the gym has to be the best outcome for them all. He could have ignored this person, letting another person help out or a staff member. However, noticing they were having trouble, this Reddit user didn’t want to leave them in trouble. It is the act of a good samaritan, and they gained something priceless – a great friendship. It is a story that we can all remember and use in our everyday lives.
“I had on my cycling shorts, as I had just gotten out of a spinning class. I decided to go to the back where all the “manly” men were (I lift things up, I put them down!). The exercise required me to be slightly bent over, one knee on the bench and the other leg extended, as I completed a row. Out of nowhere, a very large, old black male came up behind me (I saw him in the mirror). He sucked his teeth and said, “Dayyummm Girl, Yo legs are WHITE!”. Proceeded to suck his teeth and make “mmmhmmm” sounds, all the while staring at my lower half.
I turned around, showing the front of my old middle-school gym shirt, and asked him if he would like to come to said middle-school’s bake sale to support my teachers. He didn’t leave…TL;DR: I am a twelve-year-old ghost who attracts big black men. Edit for clarification: I am a girl! This post is weird/creepy because he stuck around after I told him I was a middle schooler. Also, I can use confectioners sugar as a foundation. [deleted] This Reddit user wins the award for having the creepiest story. If you are being harassed like this in a gym, please get someone who works there. They should kick this person out.
1. Maybe they should start investing in at-home gym equipment.
“Having not lived there in some years, I could not speak to its current conditions. However, the Glendale 24 hour fitness was routinely the most disgusting place I knew of. Like super glued to an overflowing toilet packed with your friends crap gross. I would walk into the locker room to see old fat hairy Armenian men walking around lathered in soap but NOT showering. You know, just walking around being nakedly hairy and fat. Just hanging out. Several of them. The bathrooms, there was obviously some type of weird paradoxical mind warp chambers where, upon entry, a select number (most? Yeah most) people would suddenly lose their minds and just CRAP everywhere.”
The Reddit User, [deleted], continues, “Everywhere! Like anal shock-burst-KAPOW-howitzer craps. At the expense of maybe sounding melodramatic: Worst of all perhaps, was the psychological effect. I was shocked because every time, it would get worse and worse, and the decent part of me had to believe continually that it would… could NOT be any worse than this time. Always wrong.” If you experience somewhere that is this unsanitary, and every time it gets worse, it may be time to cancel that membership. You can find many great home workout routines and start investing in some at-home workout equipment.