A person who has experienced a loss or trauma may lose their perspective on relationships. They often hold onto bad relationships. The toxicity of those relationships continues to harm them and prevents them from moving forward.
To outsiders, it looks like a form of self-punishment. It may seem that the person is actively seeking the toxic relationship. They are so absorbed in what’s going on in their lives that they cannot see the harm they’re suffering.
Often, the toxic person is a connection to their past that they’re not quite ready to let go of. Toxic relationships become something of an addiction.
At the same time, they are parasitic. They suck the joy out of a person’s life and prevent them from living to their full potential. The person may see a toxic relationship for what it is and still won’t be able to let it go.
Going through difficult times can leave a person feeling that no one loves them. Even though they might be withdrawing and avoiding people, the person will feel unloved. They feel alone and also misunderstood when they’ve imposed that on themselves. Others might feel unworthy of love and unable to see why they deserve love.
“I was driving the car when my best friend died. I didn’t think I was worthy of forgiveness, let alone love,” Sarah said. “Everywhere I looked, I saw people I thought couldn’t love me again after what I’d done.”
Feeling unloved or unwanted is harmful to the healing process. One of the best motivators for recovering from a terrible event is the love and support of others.
Feeling like no one loves you can hinder or even halt the recovery process. Identify the people in your life who love you, and lean on them for support.
5. You are prepared to go against your own morals and principles
Some emotional vulnerability can cause people to make some uncharacteristic decisions and choices. They are not thinking logically, and this can result in reckless behavior.
Others might feel that they don’t have anything to lose, so they do something they normally would not.
Act in haste, repent at leisure, or so they say. The ramifications of a poor decision can be life-altering. A decision to engage in risky sexual behavior can ruin someone’s life. A time of emotional turmoil and struggle is not the best time to make big decisions. Even after the situation has passed, a person’s judgment may still be affected.
Not having dealt with what has happened will lead to a continuation of poor decision-making. The bad decisions and choices can lead the person on a downward spiral from which they will struggle to recover.
When going through a lot of emotional strife, people feel helpless and hopeless. The struggle is so overwhelming. The person will look around for something to help dull the pain. Anything that will stop them from having to deal with their problems becomes an attractive prospect.
A person struggling to deal with their problems may turn to alcohol and illegal drugs. They may also start to abuse prescription medication.
The mood-altering properties of these substances can help the person to forget what is going on in their lives. It’s a sure-fire way to avoid problems and not confront them. Using and abusing substances can trigger an addiction. Treatment and recovery from addiction are difficult.
Breaking the cycle of addiction will take a visit to a rehab facility and lots of counseling and therapy. Avoid self-medicating, as it has some lasting consequences that might be difficult to shake.
Suffering a loss or trauma leaves a permanent mark on a person. The mark will become smaller over time, but it’s there for life. Grief and turmoil change a person forever.
With time, a person will start to recover and return to being the person they were before. Taking the time needed to recover and deal with what has happened helps a lot.
However, it’s not that easy for everyone. There are people who struggle terribly to get back to their old lives. Some are unable to do so at all. They become a totally different person than who they were before.
If you look in the mirror and you can no longer recognize yourself, you might be struggling to recover from an event that has changed your life. While any change will challenge who you are, your true essence and character should remain.
Grief and emotional struggles leave a person feeling unmotivated. Not feeling able to motivate yourself is a red flag.
In the initial stages after the event that triggers your struggle, self-motivation will be a challenge. However, if it continues after the fact, you need to think about getting some help.
A human being is motivated from within. Self-motivation is combined with motivation from external sources. Motivation makes people ambitious and able to set goals for themselves. Without motivation, no one would ever try anything new or go out on a limb. Most of the world’s inventions would not have been discovered without a healthy dose of motivation.
When getting out of bed is something you need to motivate yourself to do, your body, mind and soul are exhausted. A lack of motivation can lead to depression and seep into all aspects of your daily life.
Laughter is an expression of joy and happiness. Often, when people have experienced a loss, they feel they’re not entitled to laugh or find joy. They actively censure themselves and don’t laugh at anything anymore.
Even those who want to laugh find it an enormous effort. A smile feels like a strain and laughter seems impossible. This is normal in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy or sad event.
It should recede over time, and the person should be able to find things that make them smile or laugh. When nothing can bring a smile to your face or make you laugh any more, it is a sign of emotional or spiritual exhaustion.
Addressing the cause of your struggle can help you find yourself again. And, along the way, you’ll find that life will present you with many reasons to smile and laugh.