Health

30 Signs of Soul Exhaustion

1. You don’t laugh anymore Laughter is an expression of joy and happiness. Often, when people have experienced a loss, they feel they’re not entitled to… Simi - November 29, 2018

Are you in a funk and feeling like you can’t get out of it? Perhaps you’re going through a traumatic event. Your heart and mind are preoccupied with what’s going on in your life. Suddenly, your body starts reacting to the situation. Your body and mind are interconnected. So, when your mind is stressed, your body will begin to show the symptoms. When the physical symptoms begin to manifest, the first thing you’ll want to do is treat them. The symptoms will go away for a short time with some treatment, but they’ll soon return. Why? Well, treating the symptoms won’t erase the cause. Your emotional struggles are not resolved by treating physical side effects.

The expectation of getting better physically is unrealistic when the root cause of the problem is not addressed. Stepping beyond the physical issues and treating the problem is the only way to help. Your soul is tired. A worn-out soul is impossible to heal with medication. It takes confronting the underlying issues directly and dealing with them comprehensively to allow the soul to revive and recover.

Here are just some of the ways your soul will try to tell you it’s exhausted and needs help:

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30. You’re physically exhausted all the time

How many times have you gone to bed early feeling exhausted? You think all that’s needed is a couple of extra hours of shut-eye. However, you wake up the next morning feeling just as tired, if not more, than the previous evening.

Even after the nine recommended hours of rest, you feel as if you’ve slept for four. If you’ve tossed and turned trying to get to sleep, feeling tired makes sense. So, why would you feel equally tired even though you fell asleep immediately?

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You might not remember it, but you probably dreamed about the issue that is making your soul tired. Those who remember their dreams often describe them as vivid and disturbing. Such dreams are exhausting.

The body will also feel exhausted if it is not fed and hydrated enough. Make sure you’re following a healthy diet.

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29. You have body aches

A lot of people struggling to get through a difficult time in their lives complain of physical pain. Some tension in the back and neck muscles are common. These can be caused during sleep when the person is having bad dreams.

When struggling with a life-changing event, the body can be tensed up all the time. The muscles might spasm when tensed for prolonged periods.

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Many people complain of phantom pains during times of emotional pain and stress. They might experience sharp or dull pains in their arms or legs. These pains have no physical basis, but they are intense. They are the body’s way of telling the mind that the soul is tired.

Self-medicating is dangerous in this case. Most painkillers are habit forming, which has long-term consequences. Stopping the use of painkillers may be a challenging experience.

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28. You often feel dizzy

Dizziness can be the result of several different medical conditions. Low blood pressure is caused when the pressure in the arteries leading to and from the heart is below the expected average of 120/80 mm Hg. Low blood sugar is also characterized by dizziness. This condition sets in when there is insufficient glucose in the blood to sustain the body’s normal functions.

A person who feels lightheaded all the time, or feels like their body is spinning, could have vertigo. Vertigo sufferers often think they are off-balance or falling.

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The physical causes of dizziness can be investigated. However, they are not the only reason a person can experience lightheadedness. A constant preoccupation with the problems plaguing you can lead to some of the conditions that result in dizziness.

Some people who are stressed out can experience dizziness with no underlying cause. Their bodies, minds and souls are worn out.

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27. You have digestive complaints

The four most commonly experienced digestive complaints are gastric reflux, stomach ulcers, diarrhea and constipation. Gastric reflux is the movement of stomach acid into the esophagus. Stomach ulcers are sores that occur in the stomach lining.

Both conditions cause a lot of pain. Self-medicating with substances like aspirin can create these conditions.

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Loose stools characterize diarrhea. Constipation is a struggle with having regular bowel movements. Under stress, the body can veer between the two extremes. A person might one day have diarrhea and have constipation the next.

A poor diet lacking in fiber is the root cause of such digestive complaints. Your mental and emotional fatigue can affect your diet, which might bring on certain digestive complaints. However, it’s possible to have digestive complaints with no logical, physical cause. These complaints may come and go. They’re the soul’s way of telling the body it’s worn out and tired.

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26. You experience sudden blurred vision

Blurred vision can have several causes. The condition is defined as the loss of the sharpness of one’s eyesight. Objects appear hazy and do not have well-defined outlines.

Blurred vision usually has its roots in near-sightedness. A pair of reading glasses will solve the problem. However, blurred vision that occurs without warning and clears up eventually could have another cause. Other causes include stroke, migraine or blood pressure problems.

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People who are going through a difficult time due to stress, grief or trauma may experience blurry vision. Symptoms such as dizziness and headaches usually accompany the condition. Where these cannot be explained away by physical causes, the onset may lie in the emotional struggle a person is encountering.

Dealing with the sheer exhaustion the struggle causes to the soul can clear up the blurred vision. Afterward, there may be no more episodes.

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25. You have headaches all the time

Headaches strike most people from time to time. They become a cause for concern when they occur with increasing frequency and intensity. A lot of people associate frequent headaches with serious conditions such as brain cancer.

This may not necessarily be the case. A headache is one of the body’s most effective ways of communicating that something is wrong with the mind and soul. A lot of people start taking pain medication to deal with the headaches.

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Continued use of pain medication without consulting with a doctor to determine an underlying cause can be dangerous. Pain medications become addictive. The body becomes dependent on the medication and not taking it leads to withdrawal in the form of another headache.

The vicious cycle of addiction can cause a downward spiral, and add more problems to the ones the person is trying to deal with.

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24. You feel emotionally numb

Emotional numbness is described as the inability to process feelings meaningfully. A lot of people prefer to deny the emotions instead of processing them. This act of burying their heads in the sand like an ostrich usually makes the issues worse.

This numbness will extend beyond the person’s issues and affect their relationships with the people around them. They find themselves unable to empathize and relate to others who are having a hard time.

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The fear is the result of opening themselves up to a family member or friend and their problems. Doing so will result in them having to confront their issues and problems, which they’re trying to avoid.

The people around you might no longer take you into their confidence when they see that you don’t appear to care. They will withdraw from you. You are left feeling even more isolated and alone.

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23. You can’t explain your feelings

Being overwhelmed by the things going on in their lives, people are unable to put a name to what they’re feeling. This is quite common, as people experience more than one feeling at a time.

The experience is akin to a roller-coaster ride. Getting off is not an option while the ride is in progress. Approaching the actual cause of the emotions a person is going through gives them the chance to deal with them.

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People go through a range of emotions when they’re coping with something that’s taxing them and stressing them out. Identifying which part of the emotional process they’re at and what they feel can help a person deal with the problem.

Putting a name to a feeling helps you figure out how to address it. Being unable to name or acknowledge your feelings is a sign your soul is tired.

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22. You often feel disoriented

Have you ever arrived home from work and not remembered the trip home?

“I’d go onto auto-pilot during my commute after I’d lost my brother to suicide,” Dave said. “I was already inside my home before I realized that I had no recollection of how I got there. My mind was so preoccupied with my grief; I’d often feel disoriented.”

Many people processing the emotions brought on by a time of great difficulty will complain of feeling disoriented.

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They feel like they don’t know whether they’re coming or going. They find themselves getting lost on the way to a place they’ve been many times before, or feel unable to focus and concentrate.

Preoccupation with a loss or trauma doesn’t give other matters space in the brain. They are pushed to one side. The feeling of helplessness this induces makes people feel even worse about themselves.

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21. You experience panic attacks

A panic attack can strike with no warning. A sudden wave of anxiety or fear washes over a person. The attack leaves the person feeling unable to do or say anything at that moment.

A person having a panic attack may feel their heart pounding, their heart rate increasing and heart palpitations. Sweating, shaking, and hyperventilation will also occur. A lot of people say they feel like they’re frozen in place while being smothered.

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Panic attacks are often confused with heart attacks, as some of the symptoms are similar. These attacks are debilitating and leave the sufferer exhausted afterward. They can be embarrassing when they happen in public.

People who experience panic attacks are often the subject of teasing and gossip. This is especially true when they’re around people who don’t understand what a panic attack is. Panic attacks might be the body’s way of telling you that your mind and soul are tired.

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20. You feel lost and lonely

“I was so unhappy at work. I’d feel alone in an office full of people,” Susan said. “I felt cut off and excluded from everyone.”

Spiritual exhaustion can lead to feelings of isolation. A person may be afraid to share their problems as they’re fearful they will be judged or hurt.

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Other people fear confiding in a person exposes them to potential gossip. The other person may share the secret despite promising to keep it confidential. This betrayal can have lasting consequences, and may make a person feel even worse about their situation.

Being alone and feeling lonely is not good for any person. No man is an island. As social creatures, people need other people. Finding someone to share the burden with is essential. Confiding in a person is often the first step in addressing the underlying issues. This will be good for the body, mind and soul.

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19. You feel bitterness and resentment

Holding grudges is bad for your health. Having been through a tragedy or trauma, it’s natural to harbor some bitterness about what happened. It could be a divorce, the death of a loved one or losing your job.

An unexpected event even may leave the person feeling cheated by what happened. This can make the person feel a great deal of bitterness.

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Bitterness leads to resentment. The person may feel like a specific person or event is what caused their problem. They begin to resent the person or people involved in what has happened to them. Their resentment seethes under the surface and begins to consume them. Soon, there’s nothing left except for a burning desire for some revenge.

Studies suggest that not dealing with bitterness can lead to illness in the long-term. Feeling bitter and resentful exhausts not only the body, it affects the mind and soul.

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18. You feel anger and jealousy

Looking around, a person undergoing intense emotional or mental stress may become angry with those around them.

“I was so angry that I was laid off,” Jeff said. “I felt so angry with those who’d singled me out to lose my job, and I was jealous of my colleagues who weren’t laid off. So felt like a victim, and that made me even angrier.”

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Holding onto feelings of anger and jealousy exhausts the body, brain and soul.

As soon as you become angry, the adrenal glands start working. They release the hormone cortisol into the bloodstream. This is the stress hormone \we need for physical survival. The heart rate and blood pressure rise in preparation for self-defense.

Continuous episodes of anger place a strain on the body. Not only the body is affected. The mind and soul become exhausted from feeling like this all the time.

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17. You feel weak

A good many people feel physically weak when going through a tough time dealing with one of life’s many curve balls. Feeling incapacitated and unable to do the things they used to is difficult. The feeling may be down to exhaustion, poor diet, and not looking after themselves.

When a person experiences stress, they tend to neglect themselves and their needs.

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Feeling emotionally weak is another common experience. A person may be more prone to tears. Normal situations they would have dealt with now cause them to fall apart. They feel that anything that happens will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

The things you’re going through are wearing you out on many levels. They leave you feeling weak. Dealing with the situation and starting on the process of recovery will restore your strength. Feeling more in control will alleviate the tiredness your soul is feeling.

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16. You are afraid of the future

Under emotional stress and pressure, a person may feel that they don’t have a future. They might even feel too afraid to start to think about what the future will be like after what they’ve experienced.

After the loss of someone dear to them, many people feel guilty for even wanting to have a future.

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Being unable to contemplate the future is a warning sign you’re exhausted, and it’s time to take care of yourself. Feeling that there is no future is a sign you’re out of gas and need to find a way to refill your tank.

Regardless of what has happened, there is a future, and you need to acknowledge and see that. Living only in the past and trying to get through the present may work in the short-term. However, over the long-term, you need to learn to look to the future with hope.

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15. You lose your passion

People have different passions. Some find passion in their work, while others are passionate about hobbies. A lot of people are excited about changing society and the world. They devote their time to charitable acts and caring for others.

Where you were once like that, you might be finding it hard to remember what made you so passionate and why. It’s likely that right now you’re just trying to get through the day.

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This takes enough energy without also having to focus on other things. Your lack of energy reserves makes it hard for you to care about minor trivialities such as the things you used to be passionate about.

When your heart and soul are weary, it’s hard to remember what you were passionate about and why. Time for healing is essential to allow you to rediscover your passion and maybe find new interests.

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14. You eat too much

There’s no easier thing to do when you have a tough time than eat your way through it. That’s the view many people subscribe to. The body needs to be fed during times of stress.

Unfortunately, the body doesn’t tell us to indulge in fruits and vegetables. The body tends to tell us we need to eat carbs… a whole lot of carbs.

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Reaching for something starchy or sugary when we’re down is something a lot of people do. It’s called comfort eating. French fries and chocolate may make us feel better. However, the effect wears off quickly, leaving us feeling like we did before we ate them.

Although the food doesn’t help, a lot of people continue to eat it anyway. The result is weight gained that isn’t easily lost. Or worse, it can lead to conditions like obesity and diabetes.

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13. You eat too little

A loss of appetite can be indicative of many conditions. One of them is stress or distress. A lot of people going through a traumatic experience, like the loss of a loved one, lose their appetites. They don’t want to eat and start to lose weight.

“After my sister died in a car accident, I stopped eating,” Kate said. “I was so busy being a pillar of strength to others that I would skip meals. I only realized how bad it was when I became ill as a result of it.”

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The body is like an engine. It needs to be refilled with the right fuels. Not giving it any fuel at all can have lasting consequences for your health.

If you’re not hungry and have no interest in food, it’s time to look at the things happening in your life that are getting you down.

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12. The ghosts of the past haunt you

Being unable to let go of the past can drag down the body and soul. In the immediate aftermath of a tragedy or trauma, feelings run high. This is an extraordinarily stressful time. However, you must move on. Somehow, you must make peace with what has happened.

That may mean having to pick up the shattered pieces of your life and put them back together. This allows you to move forward. Dwelling on the past and the “what ifs” is normal, but there comes a time where it has to end.

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Holding onto what caused emotional and spiritual pain prevents a person from moving forward.

As hard as it might be, the ghosts of the past must be banished to where they belong in the past. They’ll be a part of who you are going forward, but they cannot be allowed to own you.

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11. You feel something is missing

Most people eventually move on from the events that caused them to be hurt and devastated. They put their lives back together and carry on.

A lot of people who’ve lost loved ones to suicide say they struggled but succeeded in finding a way to move forward. However, they continue to feel like something is missing.

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“It will always be in the back of my mind that my husband was unhappy enough to take his own life and I couldn’t see it,” Jan said. “I spent many years feeling like something was missing. I realized that what I was missing was the answer to the only question I had: ‘Why?'”

Accepting that you won’t have all the answers and won’t necessarily understand the reasons for what happened takes time. Until you’re able to do so, that missing piece will continue to wear you down and prevent you from healing.

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10. You don’t want to help others

Feeling trapped inside a set of events and circumstances that have caused loss or trauma leaves a person unable to help others. Even though they might see someone who desperately needs their help, they are unable to give it. The paralysis their own situation has brought about leaves them incapable of helping others.

Being able to help others is a great healer. Putting one’s own problems to one side for a brief period helps with the process of moving on.

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Wanting to help others is one of the first signs a person is recovering. Getting to that point is often the biggest challenge.

If, months after the event, you still feel you don’t want to help others, it’s likely you are not yet on the path to recovery. Your heart and soul are not yet on the mend. This might indicate you need help to start moving forward.

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9. You make excuses to be alone

Isolating yourself from others when you’re undergoing a stressful situation is quite a normal reaction. You might feel that no one understands what you’re going through. A fear of judgment and ridicule will stop you from reaching out.

When you are in contact with people, you pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t.

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To avoid the pretense, a lot of people withdraw from others. It’s easier to be alone than to maintain a façade for friends and family. This means making excuses to avoid social gatherings. A person may accept an invitation but cancel at the last minute. Most often, it is their intention to go. However, at the eleventh hour, they change their minds.

Avoiding people and canceling at the last minute are indications that you haven’t fully confronted the events you’re dealing with. The process of healing hasn’t started, and it’s holding you back.

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8. You let others treat you like a doormat

When a person is dealing with a painful time in their lives, they might be inclined to let others take advantage of them. Being emotionally vulnerable makes them the perfect target for manipulative people.

“I was so traumatized by the abuse I suffered as a child,” Mandy said. “I always panicked when someone wanted something from me, and I would be so terrified of the consequences of saying no. As a result, I was taken advantage of at work and in my relationships.

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“Dealing with what happened and all the consequences gave me the power to stand up for myself and not allow others to walk over me.”

During times of stress and grief, it might be easier to say yes to something than explain why you’re saying no. Allowing others to take control might be less taxing than being in control.

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7. You don’t let go of toxic people

A person who has experienced a loss or trauma may lose their perspective on relationships. They often hold onto bad relationships. The toxicity of those relationships continues to harm them and prevents them from moving forward.

To outsiders, it looks like a form of self-punishment. It may seem that the person is actively seeking the toxic relationship. They are so absorbed in what’s going on in their lives that they cannot see the harm they’re suffering.

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Often, the toxic person is a connection to their past that they’re not quite ready to let go of. Toxic relationships become something of an addiction.

At the same time, they are parasitic. They suck the joy out of a person’s life and prevent them from living to their full potential. The person may see a toxic relationship for what it is and still won’t be able to let it go.

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6. You feel unloved

Going through difficult times can leave a person feeling that no one loves them. Even though they might be withdrawing and avoiding people, the person will feel unloved. They feel alone and also misunderstood when they’ve imposed that on themselves. Others might feel unworthy of love and unable to see why they deserve love.

“I was driving the car when my best friend died. I didn’t think I was worthy of forgiveness, let alone love,” Sarah said. “Everywhere I looked, I saw people I thought couldn’t love me again after what I’d done.”

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Feeling unloved or unwanted is harmful to the healing process. One of the best motivators for recovering from a terrible event is the love and support of others.

Feeling like no one loves you can hinder or even halt the recovery process. Identify the people in your life who love you, and lean on them for support.

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5. You are prepared to go against your own morals and principles

Some emotional vulnerability can cause people to make some uncharacteristic decisions and choices. They are not thinking logically, and this can result in reckless behavior.

Others might feel that they don’t have anything to lose, so they do something they normally would not.

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Act in haste, repent at leisure, or so they say. The ramifications of a poor decision can be life-altering. A decision to engage in risky sexual behavior can ruin someone’s life. A time of emotional turmoil and struggle is not the best time to make big decisions. Even after the situation has passed, a person’s judgment may still be affected.

Not having dealt with what has happened will lead to a continuation of poor decision-making. The bad decisions and choices can lead the person on a downward spiral from which they will struggle to recover.

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4. You self-medicate

When going through a lot of emotional strife, people feel helpless and hopeless. The struggle is so overwhelming. The person will look around for something to help dull the pain. Anything that will stop them from having to deal with their problems becomes an attractive prospect.

A person struggling to deal with their problems may turn to alcohol and illegal drugs. They may also start to abuse prescription medication.

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The mood-altering properties of these substances can help the person to forget what is going on in their lives. It’s a sure-fire way to avoid problems and not confront them. Using and abusing substances can trigger an addiction. Treatment and recovery from addiction are difficult.

Breaking the cycle of addiction will take a visit to a rehab facility and lots of counseling and therapy. Avoid self-medicating, as it has some lasting consequences that might be difficult to shake.

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3. You don’t recognize yourself

Suffering a loss or trauma leaves a permanent mark on a person. The mark will become smaller over time, but it’s there for life. Grief and turmoil change a person forever.

With time, a person will start to recover and return to being the person they were before. Taking the time needed to recover and deal with what has happened helps a lot.

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However, it’s not that easy for everyone. There are people who struggle terribly to get back to their old lives. Some are unable to do so at all. They become a totally different person than who they were before.

If you look in the mirror and you can no longer recognize yourself, you might be struggling to recover from an event that has changed your life. While any change will challenge who you are, your true essence and character should remain.

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2. You feel unmotivated

Grief and emotional struggles leave a person feeling unmotivated. Not feeling able to motivate yourself is a red flag.

In the initial stages after the event that triggers your struggle, self-motivation will be a challenge. However, if it continues after the fact, you need to think about getting some help.

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A human being is motivated from within. Self-motivation is combined with motivation from external sources. Motivation makes people ambitious and able to set goals for themselves. Without motivation, no one would ever try anything new or go out on a limb. Most of the world’s inventions would not have been discovered without a healthy dose of motivation.

When getting out of bed is something you need to motivate yourself to do, your body, mind and soul are exhausted. A lack of motivation can lead to depression and seep into all aspects of your daily life.

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1. You don’t laugh anymore

Laughter is an expression of joy and happiness. Often, when people have experienced a loss, they feel they’re not entitled to laugh or find joy. They actively censure themselves and don’t laugh at anything anymore.

Even those who want to laugh find it an enormous effort. A smile feels like a strain and laughter seems impossible. This is normal in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy or sad event.

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It should recede over time, and the person should be able to find things that make them smile or laugh. When nothing can bring a smile to your face or make you laugh any more, it is a sign of emotional or spiritual exhaustion.

Addressing the cause of your struggle can help you find yourself again. And, along the way, you’ll find that life will present you with many reasons to smile and laugh.

Lifestyle

30 Valuable Tips to Improve Quality of Life

The 21st century is a hectic one, and each year people just seem to get busier and busier. Instead of living, they are trying to keep… Simi - November 29, 2018

The 21st century is a hectic one, and each year people just seem to get busier and busier. Instead of living, they are trying to keep up with everything around them. Technology has had an immense impact on our lives and has made many things easier. However, in making things easier and faster, we now have more time to cram other stuff in. The free time that we should have had is now swamped with more work.

One of the most significant aspects of our lives that has taken a knock is our relationships. Social media has opened up the lives of friends and strangers alike. However, the negative studies on social media are mounting. More counts of depression and anti-social behavior are being logged, and people seem to be getting further removed from one another.

However, this is an exciting age to live in, and if you can navigate the minefields, you could have a blast. Never before has there been an age with so many things to do. The access that we have to the world is unparalleled. You won’t be trying to survive life. You will be living it.

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30. Take a stroll

Back in the day, people used to walk everywhere. If they didn’t walk, they were on horseback. Regardless of where you wanted to go, travel took physical effort. Now we are spoiled with cars, planes, escalators and elevators. What’s more is that most of our jobs require us to sit down for hours on end. It’s no wonder why there are so many obese people.

Because we don’t move around as much anymore, our body becomes lazy and doesn’t excrete the endorphins it used to. Before long, you hate your job and you become depressed. In some cases, it’s not your job that is at fault, but the fact that you don’t get exercise that makes you feel crappy.

Taking a regular stroll will help your body excrete the feel-good endorphins and get your blood pumping again. Your heart will love you for it, and your mood will improve.

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29. The sound of silence

You might not have noticed it before, but when you think about it, there aren’t many minutes in the day where you can experience peace. If it isn’t the kids nagging you for something, it’s the traffic and the roads.

At the office, there is a constant buzz of computers and people talking. Just when you think you can get some peace, your spouse turns on the TV to watch a show.

Everything your ears take in, your mind has to process, whether conscious or subconscious. Spending time in silence will help your brain recuperate.

A 2013 study published in the journal Brain Structure and Function found that spending two hours in silence could regenerate cells in the hippocampus. This will help improve your memory and your ability to learn.

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28. Pray in the morning

For many people, religion is a major part of their lives. They depend on God to help them and guide them. However, the rat race consumes most of us, and we end up neglecting the one thing that is supposed to give us peace, our faith.

Dr. Viktor Frankl concluded in his book Man’s Search for Meaning that the people who survived Auschwitz were the ones who had hope. The others perished.

We don’t live in a concentration camp, but life can become a lot to handle sometimes. For those who find solace in their faith, make time to pray in the mornings and ask for wisdom and guidance for the day.

You will feel inspired and ready to face the challenges of the day. Your thoughts will start to align with your prayer life, and you will begin to experience a more profound sense of peace throughout your day.

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27. Keep it natural

The world we live in is designed for comfort and ease. If something isn’t easy, we tend to skip it and move on to something that takes less effort. The same can be said about the food we eat.

There are so many times where we opt for a quick instant meal rather than prepare one from scratch. We end up gobbling down something that was made in a lab and made to taste like food.

Your body craves natural food, not synthetic garbage. Research has shown the preservatives that are used in processed food can cause cancer, headaches, allergies and other side effects. Your body was made for natural food. Your digestive system knows how to get the most out of natural food.

Besides, all the nutrients your body needs are in the food that grows naturally. As soon as it’s tampered with, it loses nutritional value.

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26. Super foods…and drinks

There healthy foods, and then there are super foods. These are natural products that have more benefits than you can count. When you incorporate these foods into your daily diet, you will begin to feel a notable difference from the get-go. After a while, you will also realize that you haven’t been ill in a while.

The one drink that most people neglect is water. Next to oxygen, it is the most essential substance that you need to live. However, walk into any supermarket or store, and you will see isles of sugary drinks. For most people, water isn’t tasty, and that is because they are so used to flavored drinks.

Water cleanses the body and helps your digestive system transport everything. Your skin will love you for having an extra glass now and then. Foods like almonds, avocado, blueberries and broccoli are also packed with goodness that will give your body a boost.

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25. Smile and the world will smile with you

Our world is growing more and more selfish, and no one has time for anyone but themselves. The more we try to build our little empires, the more we isolate ourselves from the people around us. In the end, some of us amass the wealth and power that we sought out in the beginning, but find that we are still lonely.

Sure, it’s nice to be able to buy anything you want or go anywhere on a whim, but doing it alone sucks. Money can’t talk to you; it has no emotion and will make no effort to try and understand you.

Do yourself a favor and spend some more time with the people around you, and not just your friends and family. You will be surprised at how good you feel when you can make someone else smile. As the saying goes, it is much better to give than to receive.

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24. Focus on the good

The offense is always taken, it is never given. We waste so much time and energy on gossip and slander and we dwell on issues of the past like they will make a difference in the present.

We get stuck on negative thoughts and things we cannot control, like politics or the weather. Spending time on these things do nothing but weigh you down and steal your time.

Nothing good has ever come from gossip. Reconsider the state of your own life before you analyze the lives of others. You might find there are issues you need to sort out.

Instead, spend your time on positive things in the present. There are things you can complain about, and then there are things you can do something about. Hone in your energy on the latter. At least you will see some change.

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23. The breakfast of champions

They don’t say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day for nothing. Skipping out on it could impact how your body performs the rest of the day.

When you wake up in the morning, your boy needs something to get it going. Chugging a cup of coffee will give you a momentary boost, but it won’t sustain your energy levels.

Breakfast gets your metabolism up and running, and if you eat a healthy breakfast, your energy levels can be sustained with a snack here or there throughout the day.

Not only does breakfast give you that morning boost, but the foods themselves also hold amazing nutritional value, including calcium, Vitamin C, protein and iron. When your metabolism is fired up in the mornings, you will also begin to notice you are losing weight. That is because your body switches from storing fat to burning it.

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22. Life isn’t fair; get over it

This might be a bit of a bitter pill to swallow, but life is not always fair. However, it is still a good life, if you choose it. You can dwell on the thing that happens to you that you feel unfair, or you can move on. It is easier said than done, but it isn’t worth your time to think about all the bad stuff when you can get up and go on.

There is always a lesson to be learned from unfair treatment, but the most valuable thing you can learn is not to duplicate the unfairness. No one will benefit when you do the same thing to others that you felt was done to you.

As soon as you forgive someone for wronging you, you are free to go on with your life and build from there. Holding a grudge makes you old and bitter and can wreck your life if you allow it.

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21. Stop the hating

Life is too short not to forgive someone. It doesn’t matter what was done to you; when you forgive someone, you begin to heal. They say that time heals all wounds, but forgiveness puts that process on a fast track. It’s a paradox, but forgiving someone else is not for them, it is the place where you can start to heal.

When you forgive your wrongdoers, you free yourself to live in the present. It allows you to move on without anger or resentment.

The opposite is also true: When you hold on to a grudge, you hold onto the past and making progress in the now is nearly impossible. You will continuously seek opportunities for revenge.

The problem with revenge is that it snowballs and before you know it, war breaks out and other people get hurt along the way.

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20. Why so serious?

Certain people tend to be very hard on themselves, especially the overachievers among us. To be honest, it isn’t worth the effort and frustration.

If you don’t know it by now, everybody makes mistakes, and you are no different. The best thing you can do is to learn from your mistakes, not crucify yourself over them.

When you are too hard on yourself and focus on your shortcomings, you tend to miss out on what you have accomplished. That is not to say that you should not have goals in life; on the contrary, once you reach a milestone, you should begin working toward the next one. However, you have to make space for some celebration and appreciation for what you have already achieved.

The worst thing that happens is that you tend to dismiss your ideas and because you don’t feel you are good enough.

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19. It’s OK to be wrong

If there is one thing people don’t like it is a know-it-all who cannot be wrong. There is nothing wrong with sticking to your guns, but you don’t have to win every argument. That only pushes people away. You might very well be victorious and win the arguments, but you end up losing the person.

When you get to a brick wall in an argument, the best thing you can do sometimes is to agree to disagree. You won’t be able to say that you won, but at least you’ll be able to build and keep your relationships healthy.

The truth is, the incessant need to be right all the time pushes people away and also inhibits growth. It kills curiosity and creativity. You become one-track minded and miss out on other possibilities. You miss out on life.

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18. What’s in the past is in the past

No one can turn back the hands of time. If that were possible, people would get stuck all the time. There is nothing you can do about your past and the mistakes you have made. Therefore, there is also no reason to dwell on the past. Instead, make peace with it and start to live in the present.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and the only purpose the past should serve is to guide you on your conduct for the present and future. No one is perfect, and we all do stupid things from time to time, but these things cannot define you.

The person who gets up every day is the one who determines who you are. The past can help you to become a better version of yourself, but only if you use it, not hold on to it.

Put your focus on what is and not on what was. You will soon come to realize that living in the now is much better than the past.

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17. Your life is your own

No one is going to live your life for you, and neither can you live someone else’s life. So stop being so envious of others and comparing your life to theirs. You have no idea what they have been through or what they are going through.

Social media has had a considerable impact on our envious nature. You don’t often see posts about how things are going. You only get the vanilla version with all the smiles and good times, but they can be few and far in between.

The only thing you are doing is making yourself depressed by longing for the things you don’t have. In the end, you miss out on what you already have and take it for granted. Your life is your own; live it with the people around you. Share with them the good and the bad, not just an edited version.

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16. No one dictates your happiness

Being human is amazing in part because we are blessed with choice. Everything we do and don’t do is governed by choice. We often get it wrong and make bad choices, but we also often learn from those mistakes.

Your happiness is also a choice, and no one can dictate or take charge of your happiness but you. You are the only one who is in charge when it comes to your happiness. It goes hand in hand with being content. Not everyone has the same capabilities, fortune, wealth, health, looks, etc., but all of us can decide when something is enough.

When you accept who you are and the circumstances you find yourself in, you tend to become more relaxed. The pressure to keep up with the Jones gone, and you can be happy. However, you have to make a choice and stick to it. Otherwise, you will forever be searching for happiness.

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15. What will it matter in five years?

Depending on how old you are, you have probably been through a couple of bad times in your life. In some cases it’s self-inflicted, and in others, you were the unsuspecting casualty. The fact is, all of us face some sort of personal disaster at some point.

In most cases, you can ask yourself what it will matter in five years, and before you know it, the seeming disaster becomes a trivial comedy of errors — something to laugh about when you look back at the scenario.

Not all problems and disasters won’t matter in five years’ time. However, when you break the situation down, and you can honestly say that what you’re currently dealing with won’t matter a thing in five years, you can get over the disaster in no time.

We are masters at blowing stuff out of proportion and giving more thought to stuff that doesn’t matter.

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14. It is better to give than receive

I have had my fair share of run-ins with stingy rich people and to be honest, I pity them. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind having a bit of extra cash now and then, but what I have found was that sharing the wealth has always felt better than trying to build my solitary kingdom.

Money can never make you happy. Imagine getting on a plane, flying first class to any destination in the world your heart desires and staying in the most expensive hotel. Now imagine doing it alone.

We are social creatures and crave companionship. That is why it is better to give than to receive. That is why we should be generous.

In blessing those around us, we tend to bless ourselves as well. There is no better feeling than making someone else’s day. In doing so, they might end up making your day as well.

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13. What others think of you is irrelevant

The world we live in today is incredibly vain, and people are obsessed with what other people think of them, whether good or bad. Some people thrive on what others think and end up becoming someone an entirely different person than who they really are.

The truth is that the only person’s opinion of you that matters is your own. You are the only one who has walked in your shoes and know yourself. You are the only one who can give an accurate judgment on yourself. Therefore, you should never give ear to what other people’s opinion of you are when you know the truth to be different.

Your actions will either confirm or deny judgments and silence the voices of those who have other opinions of you. When you try and fight fire with fire, you are going to get burned. In all circumstances, stay true to yourself, and the rest will see it, too.

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12. Time heals everything

It often seems cliché to say time heals everything, especially if you are in the middle of an emotional battle. The last thing you want to hear is that time heals all wounds. However, the saying holds a lot of water.

For some people, the time needed to process the hurt takes longer than for others. That is because time has not been allowed to begin the healing process.

While time is the ultimate healer, you still need to allow it to work. It is like going to any doctor. You can’t expect to get better if you don’t go to the doctor. He or she might be available all the time, but you need to allow them to examine you for a prognosis.

If time is the doctor, you need to allow time to sort out your grief, anger and hurt.

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11. All situations change

Most of us have heard that life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. The saying could not be any truer. However, it often happens that we get stuck in one of the ups or downs and live with the lie that it will never change.

The good news is that not all situations last forever… but that is also the downside.

Neither the bad nor the good times will always be here, which is why it is so important to live in the moment. Don’t ever wish the time away – even the bad times – for it is those moments that you learn.

In the same way, don’t take the good times for granted and assume things will never change. You can never know when things will change and you don’t want to regret not making the most of what you had.

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10. Stay in touch

Nowadays, people are obsessed with advancing their careers, so they push crazy hours at the office and neglect the people around them. If there is one thing you should know is that you are not irreplaceable. Long after you have left your job, they will continue without you.

Therefore, don’t neglect your relationships with the people who care about you. Your friends and family deserve your time because they are the ones who will take care of you when you need it most.

That being said, you should always do your best when it comes to your work, but the balance is key. When you start to make excuses for not going out with your friends, you should take a look at your life and ask yourself if it’s worth it. If you are honest, you will see that your friends and family always win.

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9. Envy makes you nasty

From time to time, we want something we don’t have and there is nothing wrong with that. However, when you are always unhappy with what you already have, and you envy the lives and possessions of others the entire time, you should take a step back.

You will only make yourself miserable if you envy other people. Never will you have enough, and never will you be content. When you get to this stage, you need to take inventory of what you have and realize that what you have is more than enough.

Envy destroys relationships and lives. It becomes an unhealthy obsession with wanting more and never being satisfied. This is dangerous ground because the people who care about you will start to feel neglected and unwanted, and before you know it, they might be gone.

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8. Pray and be thankful

All of us have talents and skills and most of us use these talents and are grateful for them. But there are some of us who become cocky and think more of ourselves than we ought to. If something were to happen to their talents, they become bitter and wonder why it happened to them.

Instead, be thankful for the talents you have and also what you achieve with them. You never know when they can be taken away from you.

Staying humble in our achievements makes us aware of our shortcomings and enables us to do even more and better than we thought we could.

It is when you stay humble that you seek to improve and better yourself. Pride does precisely the opposite. It sells you the idea that you have arrived and hinders you from further development.

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7. You are too blessed to be stressed

It cannot be said enough that life is short. That is an understatement. When you hear older people speak, not one of them will tell you that life was prolonged and took them forever to reach that age.

What they will also tell you is that stressing about what you cannot control won’t make you any younger. However, this world markets fear and will keep your thoughts occupied on the multitude of unlikely events of the future.

Insurance companies have this down to a tee. They will prey on your fear and nudge you to dwell on the future which you have no control over. In the end, you spend so much money on ifs, buts and maybes and lose out on living in the present.

Know that you are blessed and that you can only live in the current day, no matter what the media or anyone else says.

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6. Exercise

They say that fit is the new skinny and many people take this to heart and exercise their lives away. I am not saying those ambitions are wrong, but with everything in life, a healthy balance is more important than overdoing it.

That being said, exercising regularly is essential for your health. You need to stay fit and active. Your heart will love you, your mood will improve and you will lose weight in the process as well. Although this is the most visible way of seeing that someone works out regularly, a person’s state of mind and focus are also increased and improved in the process.

Mix things up and alternate between running, swimming, cycling and other sports. You will never get bored in the process. Soon enough, exercise will have become part of your daily routine, and not something you do just before summer.

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5. You are never too old to learn

If there is one thing all humans should do, it is keep on learning and trying new things. Life can become stale when you don’t challenge yourself and explore new ideas.

We tend to hide behind our work schedules and claim that we don’t have time, but no one said you had to pursue a new degree. The internet and online shopping have turned the world into a global village.

All you need to do is whip out your Smartphone and Google one interest or another, and you will be flooded with ideas from across the globe.

The benefit of trying new things is twofold. First, you keep your creative mind intact, and your imagination gets lit like a young kid. Second, you keep your body and mind in shape. Studies have shown that attempting new things increases grey matter in the motor parts of the brain.

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4. Live for something other than yourself

We tend to get so wrapped up in our little worlds that we often forget there is a whole world out there. The saddest thing about such a secluded life is that we miss out on what life has to offer.

We all have interests and passions, and what better way is there than to search for an organization or group to share in that passion? Immediately, your world is opened to other people and adventure.

In most cases, you find you have something to offer other than your time in front of a computer in your office. You will see that you can enrich someone else’s life through your skills and experiences.

We were made to interact with other people, and when we can enrich someone else’s life, we also tend to find a sense of purpose for our own.

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3. Set goals

I for one seldom set any goals for myself back in the day. It was in those times that I could not move forward. I felt stuck in my job and didn’t see how things were going to change. That was until I started to implement actionable and attainable goals for myself.

When there is no goal you are working for, you waste time on anything and everything. There is very little purpose to what you are doing, and you might even start to feel like you don’t have a purpose.

Setting goals helps you to focus your efforts constructively, and paints an invisible map of the road to success. It provides you with a tool to see if you have grown as a person and gives direction to your future.

If you want to set these goals, try and find someone to whom you can be accountable. They will help you stay on track.

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2. It’s not personal

At some point in time, we all have to face rejection. It’s never a fun experience, and it can either ruin your self-esteem, or you can learn from the rejection. Whatever, you do, you should never take rejection personally. You have no idea why your proposal was rejected, or why you were shot down when you asked someone out.

The reasons for the rejection are almost irrelevant because the lesson you stand to learn is priceless. Use the rejection as motivation to improve on yourself. There is no such thing as not good enough; however, there is such a thing as not the right time.

The only thing you need to do is to get back up and go at it again, so you will grow in confidence and mature into a better you.

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1. Ask

In general, people are afraid to ask questions. The nature of the problems could either be for help, or it could involve info you want. Regardless, for some odd reason, we tend to fear what the response is going to be, or our pride gets in our way. Either way, we miss out on opportunities if we don’t ask questions.

Despite many people claiming they can read the future, no one can read your mind and sniff out what your needs are. If you don’t make them known, they will remain locked in your mind, and you will have to go on without answers.

If you ask, the worst thing that can happen is that your request will be denied. But is that as bad as walking around with the burden and judgment of others for not reaching out and lending a hand?

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