Health

People Share Embarrassing Moments in Health Class and Sex Ed

6. When the health teacher loses their place. “Not a teacher. This story is told from the perspective of the student (me). In my senior year… Trista - December 4, 2021
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6. When the health teacher loses their place.

“Not a teacher. This story is told from the perspective of the student (me). In my senior year of high school, I took an anatomy and physiology class for college credit, with both juniors and seniors in the class. My best friend (male) and several of my best female friends were also in the class, and we occupied the back corner of the room. On the day we discussed methods of contraception, the teacher was trying to clinically explain that the “pullout” method was not effective in birth control because of the presence of sperm in the urethra. A girl in the class, a few rows ahead of us, raised her hand and asked, “If the boy is a virgin, why would there be sperm in his urethra?” says cncordray.

“My buddy and I could barely stifle ourselves in the back row. Her question was absolutely in earnest, which made the whole thing that much funnier. The teacher was trying to delicately hint at the concept of masturbation without actually saying the word, and the girl just wasn’t picking up what he was putting down. The girl sitting next to her leaned over and whispered something in her ear, and she looked up and said, “Ohhh!” My buddy and I lost it. One of those moments where the harder we tried, the worse it got. The teacher had completely lost control of the class for a good several minutes. The poor girl was absolutely mortified. Once the class finally started to come back together, the teacher looked down at his textbook and said, “Well, now I’ve completely lost my place…”. That just blew the lid off the class all over again. We got nothing more accomplished for the rest of the day.”

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5. How to horrify the sex ed teacher.

“When I was in grade 9 (15 years old), a girl asked our elective class drama teacher. She said, “can you get pregnant from swallowing after a blowjob?” The male drama teacher looks slightly horrified by all the implications of the question but slowly answered. “Well, the stomach and uterus aren’t connected at all, so no.” But she continued. She said, “if a girl has a hole in the bottom of her stomach and a hole at the top of her uterus … and she swallows after a blowjob, can she get pregnant then?” The drama teacher gave her a long, weirded-out stare before answering, “well, there are several things between the stomach and the uterus in a body…” “But if there wasn’t. Like if there was a tube connecting it, or something, would it be possible?”

RangerGnome continues, “…the stomach acid would probably kill all the sperm before it made it through to the uterus.” “What if she had really low stomach acid?” Very long pause, staring as though questioning his whole career. “Sure. If all of these entirely impossible factors lined up, a woman could get pregnant from swallowing after a blow job.” “But nothing is impossible, so if all that happened to a person, it could happen!” By this point, all giggles from my classmates and I had subsided into stares of disbelief. Even as Catholic school kids, we all knew that was ridiculous. Our sex ed wasn’t that bad.”

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4. Not the questions this teacher wanted to answer.

“I’m not a teacher, but in the middle of sex ed in grade 9, a boy in my class asked my teacher this during the conversation about women’s reproductive systems and how the vagina can stretch when pushing out a baby… Boy: “so, does that mean that the vagina can stretch with things going in?”…all the girls and guys knew what he was asking, but assuming it was a fair question, my teacher simply replied. Teacher: “yes, but not in the same way. But a woman’s vagina can stretch to fit a larger penis to a certain extent width-wise. That’s different for every woman, and that’s general.” OK, feeling awkward but OK.”

chiseledjawline12 continues, “He raises his hand again. Boy: “so does that mean you could fit a watermelon inside a vagina?” My female teacher went red and got angry at his poor taste in question. She sent him to the hallway to think about his choices. The boys chuckled, and the girls just shook their heads. Did I mention this was in a catholic religion sex ed class? Honestly was surprised my teacher even answered the first question the way she did without including “after marriage” in that sentence. She normally did.”

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3. Teamwork makes the dream work (Part 1).

“I went to public school in Massachusetts in a small wealthy town with one stoplight and about 200 kids per grade. We had the standard “this is puberty and science of conception” overview in 6th grade. However, we had Sex Ed as a mandatory 6-week segment of gym class our freshman year, which I took in 1999. It was team-taught by the football coach and the school nurse. They covered everything in a great sex-positive way that emphasized safety, consent, pleasure, and positivity. It was truly great and delved into everything. They showed how to put a condom on yourself and how to put it on a partner,” shares stimilon.

“They talked about masturbation, sex toys, orgasm, how to have conversations with partners about what you were or were not comfortable with, and how to communicate about what feels good or bad. The last 20 minutes were an unstructured time for question and answer, and there was “the question box,” which was a shoe box for each class section in the cafeteria where you could anonymize your question. They would answer every single question without you as the author. Well… I was a freshman. My sister was a senior. She and all of her friends ate in the same cafeteria where the question box lived.”

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2. Teamwork (Part 2).

Stimilon continues, “They decided to stuff the box with all sorts of questions and put my class section number on them so they’d be read in my class. They ranged from easy ones like “I slipped on my bike falling on my seat and broke my hymen. Am I still a virgin?” “One of my teammates asked if he could suck my penis to see if I’m gay. I got hard. Does this mean I’m gay?” To “my parents make my siblings sleep in the basement so they can have friends over for a “key party.” Is this common?” 

“To even mention every masturbatory practice or locations for ejaculation you can imagine. The funniest part was that the teachers thought all of these questions came from my one friend in the class. They totally thought this for the rest of his high school career. The real truly best part was that they took on every question and tried to give each a medically sound answer without judgment. I probably owe a lot of my positive attitudes about sex to how seriously this football coach and the school nurse took on a tough task.”

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1. That one awkward question in sex ed.

“I’m not a teacher, but instead, I was the awkward student that asked the uncomfortable question. I must have been about 12. I’m 28 now, and I live in the UK. For some reason, our whole year group received one mass sex ed class with all the form teachers (class heads?) standing awkwardly in a row at the front of the large classroom to help answer about 70 cramped children’s questions. I have no idea why this was the chosen format to educate us on the intricacies of sex. After one of the braver teachers gives her a rundown on the basics with seemingly very little rehearsal to this class, and confident male students get up to incorrectly point at the clitoris on the giant vagina projected on the board, the classroom is opened up to questions,” shares Rhydonal.

“Now, I am a cheeky chap. I figured this was my chance to ask a question. Also, hopefully enlighten the year group on correct oral sex procedures. After raising my hand, my teacher pointed to me. “I know it’s safer for girls to spit when it comes to oral sex. But is it safer for guys to spit when going down on a girl?” The teacher that’s answering awkwardly stumbles over her words, unsure how to answer such a ridiculous question. Seeing how uncomfortable this made her, I decided to step in and say something along the lines of “So a guy should spit then, yeah?” Nodding my head as I look directly at her. “I suppose.” I think was the conclusion. The other pupils and teachers stared quietly at both the teacher and me. Everyone was wondering what to make of this awkward exchange.”

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