Health

Men Confess What They Really Think of Plastic Surgery

18. You are not damaged goods. So far, we have seen all kinds of points of view towards if someone should have plastic surgery or not.… Trista - November 27, 2021

Social media have been booming for the past decade. It has opened the door of being more accepting towards others. People enjoy having the freedom to be whomever they desire. However, this has brought the urge for some people to seek perfection and change beauty standards. Thankfully, our phones most likely have an app to make your skin and body look flawless. That means, you don’t really have to go under the knife and spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery. Nevertheless these free and painless filters might not reach your standards of beauty. So what if you have the budget for it and want to look flawless without the need for an Instagram filter?

For women, it can be either a judgemental reaction or praise. It probably depends on the procedure. Furthermore, it is a bit more secretive when a man goes to change something about themselves that they don’t like, right? Well, we went on to Reddit to find many burning questions about beauty. According to men, is plastic surgery worth it? Even though the human body is amazing, should you risk it to get your dream nose or have a body deserving of the gods? Let’s go and find out what men on Reddit think of plastic surgery! Would they get it done themselves? More importantly, what do they think about women who get plastic surgery?

27. It all comes down to what type of plastic surgery.

Everyone has different points of view about this topic. It can be a bit controversial, but it’s always welcome to have other opinions rather than ourselves. For example, this deleted user put a lot for the discussion on the table, which can be put in perspective. He states: “Depends on how much and what. I’m on the fence about plastic surgery. On the other hand, it can cure people of some deepest insecurities and make them more attractive. On the other hand, it might create some sort of beauty arms race if plastic surgery becomes accepted. I also don’t like the idea that beauty can be bought and sold, thus falling into the domain of the wealthy.

Truth be told, I’m only going to be with a girl who is pretty enough for me to be attracted to. There is no possibility of me coming to appreciate her personality if she does not physically appeal to me first. I believe a lot of men would share my sentiment. It seems almost wrong to tell an unattractive woman that she can’t do what is potentially the only thing possible to make herself more attractive. It’s complicated.”

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26. Why not change something that makes you insecure?

I’m sure everyone reading this has something about themselves that you just wish to be different. Maybe surgery can fix it if it’s a doable thing. If you have the money, why not go for it? This Reddit user brings up the dilemma of if you can change something, then do it. “People like to say, “Oh, I don’t like plastic surgery, it looks unnatural,” but I am curious how they know when they’re looking at someone who has had plastic surgery or not? It seems like you would only notice it when it was poorly done.

I think this is the same reason a lot of guys say that girls are more attractive when they don’t wear makeup. What they really mean is that they don’t like it when a girl is obviously wearing noticeable makeup. A girl who does a good job of applying natural-looking makeup is going to look prettier than she would with no makeup. I have known a few girls who have gotten nose jobs, and they are all happier for it. With one in particular, she really did have a huge, hooked nose, and it distracted from the rest of her face. It was really bad. It almost looked like something a Nazi propagandist would draw. She looked much better after the surgery.”

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25. If you get into a fight, fix it up with plastic surgery!

Physical altercations can happen at any moment in our lives, which can leave some pretty gnarly scars that can make us insecure. This can’t be seen as taboo when it’s something that feels like it’s stopping you from feeling like yourself. So why not do something about it? This guy had an interesting high school year where surgery helped his self-esteem years later, proving that this can help you feel better about yourself.

“I got in a fight in high school and got my lip split open, looked just like Robbie Lawler in the MacDonald fight if anyone knows what I’m talking about. Anyway, it left a small kind of noticeable bump on my lip after the stitches, and I always wanted to get surgery to fix it, but people said I was crazy, and it was hardly noticeable. It bothered the s*** out of me to the point where a few months ago, I got it fixed, and I’m pretty f**** happy I did. It was like a 15 minute and out procedure, definitely worth it, and I’m no longer insecure about it.” Just remember, if you can avoid a fistfight, do so. But if there’s no way out, just cover your face.

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24. There are risks of not feeling like yourself after a procedure.

There are pros and cons of having a procedure done to our bodies. That is why you have to think and analyze your situation to see if it’s worth the risk. Sometimes it is also a good idea to first work on yourself internally before going through with plastic surgery. Why? Because sometimes all we need is to take care of ourselves and mental health first. Maybe a fresh haircut, new outfit, or even a vacation of solitude! But in any case, following your instinct can help us find a solution can be helpful. And that’s the case that Mackinacsfuriousclaw argues about:

“I have to get my deviated septum fixed eventually, but I am afraid that it will somehow make my nose look different. Having a different nose is something I am not interested in. I have had friends who have had procedures done for different reasons. Fixing an “imperfection” won’t fix what is going on inside your head. If you went through the trouble of changing your life and perhaps lost a lot of weight and wanted the excess skin removed, there is nothing wrong with that. People do things to change themselves all the time.” Reading all the different points of view on this topic can actually help make a decision without regretting it in the future.

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23. You only live one lifetime, but…

Notatotaljerk shares this analysis of what is an acceptable request to have from your significant other when it comes to appearance and what is the end line that someone might go to boost their self-esteem: “If I felt like it would make a significant positive difference in my life, why not? Yes, even if it’s just to boost self-esteem or happiness. You only live one lifetime, so you might as well get everything you want out of it. If that means plastic surgery, so be it. There are lots of ways to control your appearance. If you apply a diet and exercise, you can look leaner or more muscular. You can style your hair, dye it. Heck, some guys get manicures. To me, plastic surgery is just the more extreme version of these changes. Of course, you need to weigh your desires against the risks (death, allergic reactions, poor results), costs, recovery time, etc.

Now, if an SO suggested something I don’t feel the need to change? I’d have to factor in: i) the desire to continue the relationship with said SO (a girl I met a week ago isn’t going to carry the same weight as a woman I married a decade ago and have children with) ii) whether the SO made a suggestion (“I personally think you’d look better with a stronger jawline, but whatever”), or gave a request (“can you please get that mole removed?”), or a threat (“get a nose job, or I’m ending the relationship). iii) the invasiveness of the request made. I’d be more open to getting a simple mole removal, whereas bicep implants are a no-go.”

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22. Learn to be happy with what you have.

Sometimes it’s not all about making your significant other happy with how you look. You need to accept and love yourself the way that you are. But of course, there are also a few exceptions. It is necessary to contemplate when it comes to any procedure that might change your appearance. That is even if it’s a small change or a big transformation. This man shares his two cents about decisions regarding plastic surgery. Do you agree or disagree with this user?

“I learned to be happy with my massive boner nose and all my imperfections, so can my SO if she wants to keep being my SO. I know she isn’t perfect, and I’d never considered telling her to have unnecessary cosmetic surgery because of that, and I expect that same respect. However, I have had cosmetic dentistry, which was solely my decision and no one else’s. It was a problem I had that I couldn’t be happy with when I looked in the mirror. The decision was not made to satisfy anyone but myself.” When it comes to relationships, it’s all about communication and loving the person with all their flaws. This is something to always keep in mind before speaking to your significant other.

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21. Sometimes, you need plastic surgery if you want to feel attractive.

Some things are impossible to stop or that we have no control over whatsoever. Sometimes we have very noticeable imperfections, but also affects your life in many ways. And we are not talking about something small like a mole or being very hairy; we mean something that won’t let you have an everyday life doing things that the general population can do. It can be debilitating for some people, leading to other health problems, including depression. But some there is not an easy solution to the problem, but for others, there is hope.

This guy shares his story on how plastic surgery changes his life after living with a deformity for most of their life: “My eyelid drooped down for the first 16 years of my life. Like my right eyelid just drooped, as if it was half-open, and my left eyelid was normal all the time. It finally got really bad, and I got it fixed on the NHS because I was actually ‘visually impaired’ in that eye. The attention I got IMMEDIATELY went up. Basically, anything that makes your face more symmetrical will have a massive effect on your attractiveness. Whether that’s ending acne, getting a mole removed, sorting out that weird-looking tooth, or shaving properly.” Things like this make you thankful that the medical field is advanced enough to fix these problems, which will help you see better and improve your self-esteem.

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20. It is a huge plus to boost your confidence.

Women have a lot of pressure to stay young, flawless, and in shape to remain attractive to their kin. But men also have their force always to look manly, have the body of the Gods of Olympus, and be tough as nails. Sometimes it feels like men couldn’t ever reveal if they had this type of surgery. Or it is an easy way out when they can just workout. People don’t get that sometimes; going to the gym six days a week will not fix some things. Especially those things that might make some men feel very insecure.

Gynecomastia is a condition where boys and men develop an enlargement of breast tissue which can be a big blow for many men. NoMoreManBoobs decided to share his story and give more hope to other men. “I had the same surgery. My nipples were really sensitive (not in a pleasurable way) for about six months to a year. Overall I have no regrets. As for more attention from the ladies, I’m gay, so I haven’t really noticed. I’ve definitely noticed women flirting with me at times. It definitely helps with other gay men. Ironically I met my now-fiance while I was still recovering. Generally, I agree with others that it helps with confidence, which is a huge plus.”

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19. Start going to the gym before going under the knife.

User qwe340 shares, “I give more respect to the person who has spent years in the gym sculpting his/her own body than to the person who went in for cosmetic surgery to have abs implanted into them. … people that stick with going to the gym for years usually do it for more than just appearance. You can actually see this after a while in a university gym. Usually, around September, the gym will be packed with people who are lifting because they are insecure and want to look good. They will constantly scrutinize how they look and show their abs whenever a female comes around. However, by mid to end October, only a quarter of the packed gym will be left. Wanting to look good can only sustain their motivation for hard work for so long.

… For over a decade now, psychology has shown that explicit self-esteem is probably pathological while implicit self-esteem is what’s needed. (basically, someone truly confident can live with imperfection and criticism and does not need constant explicit positive feedback). I think cosmetic surgeries don’t do anything to people’s implicit self-esteem (the feeling of, I might be imperfect and vulnerable, but I can still be loved), but rather patches their explicit self-esteem. So I think patients should at least be recommended to a therapist if they want a cosmetic procedure.”

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18. You are not damaged goods.

So far, we have seen all kinds of points of view towards if someone should have plastic surgery or not. Still, sometimes you need to hear some experiences and how hard it is for some people to deal with their appearance and how big of an impact it can bring to their lives if they go towards that route, primarily if anything else works well for them. People have different experiences, which means that they will see things from different perspectives, and this is why it’s hard to have a yes or no answer to this discussion.

ManWithASquareHead brings a fair point on what is the difference between doing it because of pressures to perfection and doing it to stop people from staring: “This is purely cosmetic, compared to what others have stated with what plastic surgery can do in regards to cleft lips, mastectomies, etc. Personally, our society puts a lot of pressure on us to be physically attractive, and that’s why this is a booming industry. I think it’s a bad message psychologically to say you’re damaged goods and NEED to get surgery. As someone who has had a family with Alopecia Universalis since she was 21, she had a horribly stressful time growing up, especially in Soviet-East Europe, where disabilities and such made you a freak. We should address the issue on a wider scope than just the individual.”

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17. Don’t get plastic surgery to impress other people.

Having plastic surgery is not always about being more attractive to find your significant other. It’s more about giving yourself a boost of confidence and overall feeling better about yourself. If you do it to impress someone else, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Spending thousands of dollars to change how you look is a big decision to make, so it better be something that you’re going to be happy about for the rest of your life without feeling guilty or ashamed about it.

Jacobtf’s testimony shows that sometimes one can be a lot judgmental on ourselves than other people are, but in the end, just do what makes you feel happier: “I had a hooked nose and had it done. While it might not have done wonders with the ladies, it did wonders for ME. It was 15 years ago, it was relatively quick and painless, and a few weeks after, I had not a perfect nose, but a nose I look at every day, and not a day goes by without me thinking it was some of the best money ever spent. The women I’ve met afterward have seen pictures of me with the old nose, and they all say it wouldn’t have made any difference to them, but the thing is, I have changed because of it, having more confidence and self-esteem. If you have the money, do it. That’s all I can say.”

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16. Get ready to throw big bucks.

It’s easier to say, “oh, I’m going to get this and this surgery,” but you better be ready to spend a few bucks to get it done, especially because more times than others, health insurance does not cover plastic surgeries. So if you don’t have the money to pay for it, start saving up! Of course, some procedures are more affordable than others, so it’s all a matter of what you need to do. For instance, this fella had a long and costly procedure done which he feels no remorse for getting.

“I had some teeth replaced after I knocked them out as a kid and had a flipper (partial dentures) for a while. Looks way better than my teeth did before it happened, better than any other man in my family, and definitely better than when I had the partial. The process took me three years because of insurance, but it could have been done in a year. [The] total cost would have been north of $15,000 because I knocked out four teeth and some bone requiring a specialist. I say would have been because I managed to have it covered and only paid a $150 deductible for each of the six visits, and my parents paid about $600 each for four partials over the years.”

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15. Feeling free while shirtless is great.

We all have insecurities, some more than others when it comes to our bodies. One thing people think about is the sense of freedom to wear what you want to wear without feeling uncomfortable or awkward. It’s liberating feeling like what your idea you want to feel, and if it means going to a plastic surgeon and getting it done, so be it. If you have the money and are 100% sure it needs to be done, do it and don’t look back. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. It is your body so you can make the decision that feels right for you.

When you are certain that surgery is what it needs to be done, most of the time (if all goes to plan with the procedure), it is the right path to feel like yourself. Janoycresva went with his guts and got the surgery he always wanted: “I had surgery recently to remove gynecomastia that I got during puberty. My chest isn’t perfect pecs, but it’s not manboobs anymore, so I’m fine with that. So far, I have a ton of confidence walking around in a shirt instead of worrying about my chest all the time, and yes, women look at me more often. But I’m guessing that’s because I now walk more confidently and feel better about myself.”

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14. Accept everyone, with or without plastic surgery.

This man sees things in a a completely different light; Love the person even if they have 100 surgeries done to feel pretty. “Here’s the way I look at it. Would I still think someone was attractive if they were born with the post-surgical look? Would I be thinking in my head, “Man, she’s ugly.” or would I find that person attractive? Chances are I’d find them attractive, and so I wouldn’t care if she had surgery just to make herself look better. It’s one thing to be addicted to the surgery and another to have it done to make yourself feel pretty. So what if I found out she had work done?

I have some opinions that I’m fine with but know it’s not all that “socially acceptable,” and this is along those same lines. The fact she feels comfortable enough to mention it to me with all the stigma means she trusts me, and I like that, and it makes me feel good. If my kids ended up being ugly bastards, I’d love them all the same. I mean, I’d tell them to work their assess off compared to their good-looking colleagues, but I’d still love them.” Like RuPaul once said, “The most important thing you can do on this planet is become the realization of your own imagination.”

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13. Men can be as shallow as women.

When someone is true with themselves, they are transparent with everybody else—and not being ashamed by what plastic surgeries you’ve had are to feel proud of, especially in this day and age when it feels like some people will judge you for anything. The_Gentleman_Thief speaks his truth about the work he has done in his body and even what plastic surgery he regrets having done. “Here’s a differing opinion. I’m a man, and I’ve had plastic surgery. I’ve gotten my nose done and my skin done several times. I would NOT be with my lady today if for that.

My nose job wasn’t really intentional, I was having nasal surgery, and the plastic surgeon who was doing it asked if I wanted a steeply discounted nose job. I said, sure, why not. I feel so much more confident with a perfect nose (to me). I’ve had many, many premature age spots frozen off (one was huge). I feel fantastic now that they are gone. I’ve also had liposuction done (I don’t recommend this, it was a waste with no real benefit and a longish recovery-just get fit). Women can be just as shallow as men, even more so at times.”

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12. How you look is essential to how the world treats you.

It is always important to remember always to have balance in your life, including the decisions you take. Some of the answers for these men of Reddit have been well thought of and with an interesting insight on a different point of view that is not from a woman. We are only halfway thru this list, and we still have even more interesting answers, and this is one of them. MefiezVousLecteur goes on with a complex way of seeing things. “I don’t have a “one size fits all” answer for you.

I’ve seen both examples of perfectly lovely women who’ve had surgery that seems to me wholly pointless or even made them look less good. Also, other women who had surgery that wasn’t medically necessary but improved their looks a lot. How you look is important to how the world treats you, especially for women. So if I like the way she looks now, and she’s happier, that’s fine. I’d worry a bit if she looked great before and wasn’t happy and had an operation because I’d wonder how long until she decides she’s unhappy again and wants another operation. There have been some famous cases of people who had so many plastic surgeries they had wrecked themselves.”

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11. A simple explanation with a basic analogy.

This explanation is one of our favorites so far, and it belongs to Valakas who gave us a vital look and a very easy-to-understand reply. “Just came here to say I fully support this opinion. Generally, people that say it’s a bad thing haven’t experienced what it’s like to be “on the other side.” A simple analogy is acne. From the inside, it can really be a drama because you feel the consequences like no one else does. From the outside, people say not to pay attention to it, blah blah. Except that if they were unfortunate enough to have a single pimple, they would be the first to go to the mirror obsess about it.

Life’s great when you look from the outside in. It can be not so great from the inside out. So to answer the OP, if you’re thinking about it, you have the means, and it’s something you really do want, that you are sure would make your life better, then do it, and f— what these people are saying about it being bad. Some comments here saying they would annul their marriage if they found out their girlfriend had surgery just shows how vain some people here are being.”

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10. Some people admit to making plastic surgery mistakes.

Sometimes we need to be sure that what we are saying won’t be too harsh. Do you want hurt someone’s feelings or make people uncomfortable? If it’s a topic as controversial as plastic surgery, it’s better to leave that conversation for some other place. Don’t make it public. Knowing how sometimes this can become a bigger problem than it should, it’s better to be safe than sorry. This is what happened to this guy. They had an embarrassing moment that I’m sure he still regrets.

“I accidentally seriously insulted someone once talking about how shallow and obvious lip injections are. I didn’t know she was standing behind me, but my wife asked me what I thought of them. So, I expressed my opinion (that they are completely unnecessary, scarring and stretching the skin, so you have to constantly have to have it done again or wait until the skin shrinks back, unnatural-looking, etc.). Much to my chagrin, there was an injected woman right next to me…Ugh.” Always remember, folks, think twice before saying something in the wrong place, at the wrong time. You will never know. Just leave your controversial views for Reddit.

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9. There is always a more significant problem.

Some people think that everything is possible with plastic surgery. However, even if medical technology is very advanced right now, things cannot be changed easily. In some cases, you need to love yourself first. Try to accept yourself with all your flaws if you want to move on and be happy. Confidence sometimes is the key to feeling like a million bucks. And this is what this man needs to learn to feel attractive. Furthermore, that now surgery is the answer.

“My main problem was that the most important things that made me unattractive (height, confidence, and penis size) were impossible to fix via surgery or money. There is no shortcut or solution to them, whereas women can get surgery and become attractive within a few days/weeks. Yes, plastic surgery would have been possible, but I felt as if in order to have a decent face, the surgeon would need to renew my complete face + skull structure, which is obviously impossible. I wasn’t able to name one single thing that bugged me about my looks, just my looks as a whole. Again, this is an explanation of how I felt at the time. Not an argument for or against plastic surgery.”

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8. It will bring too many questions in the future.

People are always saying to live today without getting ahead and thinking about the future too much. It might bring more questions with no answers and even a bit of anxiety depending on what type of future you see yourself. This guy went too ahead of himself and saw things from the perspective of a future loved one. “I emphatically agree. Reconstructive surgery is one thing (I’ve dated a girl that’s had it, never bothered me), but plastic surgery is so… unnecessary. It really says something about a girl when she’s paid that much money to alter her appearance, and that’s not a thing that I personally find attractive.

It wouldn’t bother me too much with how kids might look, but I’d be worried that if she was so dissatisfied with her appearance that she spent thousands changing it, what kind of pressure is she going to put on the kids if they don’t meet expectations? How’s she going to react when she starts aging and doesn’t like it? Is it just going to turn into a plastic surgery cycle? Does she think I wouldn’t have loved her as much if she wasn’t as pretty? A lot of it might be overthinking, but long story short, I, like Memymineown, would be way more concerned about how she felt so strongly about her appearance she felt the need to spend thousands to permanently change it.”

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7. Some things will never change.

Going under the knife is a big decision to make. It’s always good to look for alternatives that might benefit you better. That goes double when it comes to losing weight. Liposuction might show results faster. However, how long will it take to gain all that weight back if you don’t have a diet or exercise routine? Is it worth spending all that money just to lose the results in a few years? Sure, even if exercising makes the process longer, it can be a huge achievement. Boost your self-esteem and strength. And do so by seeing how much you have done by yourself without needing to go to a doctor to suck the excess fat.

KS_4691 brings out why some plastic surgeries are better than others and how some can help achieve the body transformation that you dreamed of; “There are some things that WON’T CHANGE, regardless of how much you work out. Actually, while exercise can make someone happier with their health/appearance overall, some features will become less appealing with exercise. I’ve known some people who have lost considerable amounts of weight, only to have deflated/saggy breasts and skin flaps. I think that these people DESERVE to have cosmetic procedures to complete their transformations.”

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6. Breaking the stigma can be a healthy thing to do.

Are you one of those people that like checking celebrity news and their whereabouts? Then you’ll know how sometimes the media focus on that secret boob job a former child actress got. Or, how much Botox they are using. It makes you realize how much having any procedure to change your appearance is taboo. In a normal society away from celebs, plastic surgeries need to be accepted more. At least, more than what the media wants you to think. This man has a healthy way to see things more acceptably. “Here’s the way I look at it. Would I still think someone was attractive if they were born with the post-surgical look? Would I be thinking in my head, “Man, she’s ugly.” or would I find that person attractive?

Chances are I’d find them attractive, and so I wouldn’t care if she had surgery just to make herself look better. It’s one thing to be addicted to the surgery and another to have it done to make yourself feel pretty. So what if I found out she had work done? I have some opinions that I’m fine with but know it’s not all that “socially acceptable,” and this is along those same lines. The fact she feels comfortable enough to mention it to me with all the stigma means she trusts me, and I like that, and it makes me feel good. If my kids ended up being ugly b*******, I’d love them all the same. I mean, I’d tell them to work their butts off compared to their good-looking colleagues, but I’d still love them.”

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5. Just do it the right way.

You know you have found your partner for life when they won’t judge you for who you are. Your best friend will be loyal to you until you die. It is crucial that no matter what you want, you have people who respect your wishes. That goes double even if they might sound a little bit crazy. Because at the end of the day, you are the owner of your body. And you are the only one that can choose what they want to do. If it’s having 100 surgeries to look like Kim Kardashian, so be it. Just remember to be sure that’s what you want to be. Once you choose to change how you look via plastic surgery, there’s no way back.

SidewaysGate follows his own road by disagreeing with everyone else by saying: “I’m going to disagree with most of the men here and say I would have absolutely no problem with my partner doing this as long as they took the proper precautions and went to a respected doctor and had long consultations on what would and wouldn’t work. There are lots of complications that can come up, but if she’s willing to risk them, so am I. People are referencing Megan Fox a lot. I have no problem with how she looks now. She’s still hot.”

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4. Having good genes is unfair.

I’m sure everyone has felt at one moment in their life a little bit jealous of people who are attractive and flawless without one single surgery on their face or body. Yes, life can be unfair with some of us, but that’s what plastic surgery is all about, right? Well so far in this list we have seen many types of points of view about this topic. Some experiences that might convince you to change your mind about it. Why? Because that’s how we humans are! We evolve and change our minds all the time (although I know some don’t want to accept it that easily)

So here we have user kekekekekekekeke giving us another perspective on the whole ordeal, making us think in the “why not” of this whole ordeal. “ugh I hate it when people always comment on how plastic surgery is ‘unfair’ because those people just bought their beauty with wealth Well… you know what’s unfair??? the naturally beautiful people who can stay up all night and eat the most unhealthy s*** and stay skinny and have the nicest skin ever OMG. If one can work hard and spend a little money on making themselves look better, why the f*** not?!?!?!”

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3. Being unique is the most attractive thing.

Studies show how social media can make people depressed and insecure by their looks. That is why so many people are getting or contemplating plastic surgery. It is a big concern that people feel so bad about themselves because of the internet. Then, the same internet urges them to change everything about themselves. This is why you should talk to someone before you take the plunge to plastic surgery. More importantly, talk to a therapist or someone to help guide you into the best decision for you. If surgery is the one that will be the game changer in your life, then go for it.

But you also need to remember to have balance. Overdoing it won’t do much. It might end up turning heads for the wrong reasons. Sure, if you feel beautiful after many surgeries and thousands of dollars, then they can stare all they want. Boolean_sledgehammer makes a good point that is just loving yourself the way you are and learning to do so might be a good start. “To me, people who have had an overabundance of plastic surgery often end up looking bland, featureless, and utterly forgettable. I like uniqueness. I like imperfections. These are the things that make you stand out. Having a “perfect” nose, in my opinion, does not. I can’t fault someone for wanting to alleviate their insecurity, but I’ve found that the “physical ideal” that people strive for is often anything but.”

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2. Is this being shallow?

When answering questions on the internet, it is always a good idea to do an auto inspection before saying anything, so this rant by Whisper is by far the most epic one yet: “A lot of shockingly bad answers here from hypocritical men. Everyone likes pretty, by definition. That’s because pretty is defined as “the appearance that you like.” Many people start with this refrain of “shallow shallow shallow” when they talk about cosmetic surgery, not because they don’t like the results, but because they don’t want to appear “shallow shallow shallow” by caring too much about appearance…

But middle-to-upper-class people see appearance as something mutable and configurable, which can be chosen, something that you have. Judging someone based on it is like judging them on how they dress; it’s a bit weird to attach too much importance to it, but it tells you something about people’s taste and how much effort they are putting in. I am pre-surgery (except for breast implants because they can’t seem to make them look and feel quite right yet). If someone has the nerve to decide that they want a change and then follow through on it, and the competence to amass 5 to 15k in spare cash, that tells you a lot more about them than someone who just got lucky in the genetic lottery.”

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1. Confidence is the sexiest thing you can have.

Relationships can be complicated sometimes. One falls for someone because of their character and even more if they are physically attracted to each other. It doesn’t matter if the other person thinks they are not hot. It is always a plus when the other person disagrees about it. Why? Because you know it’s the real deal. If it’s serious enough, it can turn into a beautiful relationship that might stay together for many years to come or for the rest of their lives. But what if the other person has a minor obsession that they can not get over, especially when it comes to how they look?

Smugcaterpillar sadly had to move on because of this, so this is a cautionary tale that people need to be checking on. “My soon-to-be-ex-wife was sort of infatuated with plastic surgery. While I understand the desire for beauty, it was a constant trigger for us to bicker. While by no means a ten, she’s not ugly. She was obsessed with her chin and wanted an implant. It still does, actually. I think it’s super creepy. I find confidence sexy. Plastic surgery implies the opposite for me. Also, it seems like it tends to lead to things like this. That being said, more power to ya if that’s your thing, to each their own, etc.”

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