The worst car ride of the century includes food poisoning.
“At a family wedding in Minnesota with my wife and our 10-month old child. I didn’t drink much at the wedding on account of having a 6-hour drive home the next morning. Plus I had a 10-month old child sleeping in our room. I wake up the next morning, and my stomach is not right. And it just gets worse as I get up and move around. So, I manage to take a shower and get dressed, but just as we are getting ready to leave the hotel for our ride home, it hits me. I make it to the bathroom and puke. It looked like I was vomiting up blood, as I had eaten a slice of red velvet cake the night before. I immediately feel better and think I just woke up with an upset stomach,” says limberchicken.
“Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. We load up the car, and my stomach starts feeling it again…so I tell my wife she has to drive. I need to see if I can sleep some. We get in the car, and 15-minutes down the road, I pop up and tell her she has to pull over NOW. Our car is still slowing to a stop on the shoulder of the highway, and I have the passenger door open, and I am vomiting out of the car. We sit on the shoulder for 10-minutes while I am puking. This continued for our entire ride home, every 15-20 minutes or so…for 7+ hours. Near the end, I had nothing left in my stomach to puke up…and my abdomen hurts from all the puking. Worst car ride ever.”
“Not my story, but my paramedic mentors’: He and his partner were both fans of clam chowder, and there was a grocery store in their area that sold it, so they stopped to grab some while on lunch break. He got a regular. His partner got large. Sure enough, their break was interrupted by an emergent call, and they respond to a house for chest pain. As they were assessing the patient, his partner began to look green and sweaty and told him that he needed to go outside. Shortly after, he heard his partner calling on the radio for a second unit to respond lights and sirens and a supervisor. My mentor was confused but was finishing up on the scene when he suddenly began to feel very sick.”
Phoenix25 continues, “Luckily, the second unit arrived in time for him to run outside and puke on the front lawn. Both went home in the back of the ambulance, pooping and puking. They refused transport to the hospital; I don’t blame them. It turns out the grocery store had hired a new employee. He was confused about which counter was for chopping meat and which was for chopping veggies/potatoes. Which would have been fine with any other kind of soup. However, with chowder, you don’t bring it to a full boil. The veggies and potatoes were chopped on a counter containing raw chicken blood/juice, then heated up for several hours at a temperature just perfect for the reproduction of bacteria. I can’t see a food counter at a grocery store the same way since.”
“My best friend & I took a weekend trip to see a festival-type concert 4 hours away from home. We booked a cheap hotel room for that night. Since the show was an all-day thing, we didn’t want to drive back home late at night. At the show, there were a bunch of food trucks, but everything at them cost an arm & a leg because they know they have you by the balls since you can’t leave the show. Both of us are cheap @$$es, so we decided since we had a big breakfast before we hit the road & snacks in the car all the way there, we would be fine to wait & get cheaper food after the show. The show came to an end, so we went ahead on our adventure to find the hotel (we didn’t stop there first, just went straight to the show). Of course, the GPS tries to send us down roads that are blocked off for road work, so we’re both getting wicked hangry at this point, & we just want to eat & go to sleep,” tells iamnumber47.
“So we agree that the first food we see is where we’ll eat. Cue the Jack-in-the-Box, so we go through the drive-thru, get our food & finally find out the hotel. The next morning, I wake up to just about the worst alarm clock ever, the sound of my best friend demolishing the hotel bathroom. My first thought is, “oh s@#%, what’s going on?”. Then she emerges from the bathroom & we realize that we still have to head home in just a couple of hours. I’m hoping that it bypasses me so I will be okay to drive home. So we get all out stuff together & check out of the hotel. My head is pounding at this point, but my stomach is still hanging in there, so I decided maybe I just need some caffeine (total caffeine addict, unfortunately), so we go through a Starbucks & I get a black iced tea since I thought maybe a coffee would be a little harsh in case I did get sick.”
Iamnumber47 continues, “Then we stop at a gas station real quick to fuel up, at which she proceeds to bust out of the vehicle like a kidnap victim, & bolts towards the bushes to vomit. Then she makes me stop at every gas station she sees within the first hour of our trip. At one of them, she comes back to the car from the bathroom & sheepishly tells me she sharted in her drawers & had to throw them away. My head is killing me so bad at this point that I can’t even see straight (yeah, I know it was dumb driving like that, but what’s said is done), so I yell at her that she better not have s@#% on her pants in my vehicle & that I am under no circumstances stopping any more, that I just want to get home. (& yes, for the record, I do feel bad about yelling at her).”
“So I throw a hospital vomit bag that had in the vehicle at her (yeah, I come prepared, haha) and tells her if she needs to throw up, she can do it in that. Then it’s back on the road again. I make the last ~3 hours of the trip only take ~2 hours and thankfully didn’t get pulled over. We get to my house, & she passes out on the couch pretty much immediately, & I think, “Hey, I have Gatorade. If I drink that, I’ll be fine.” I sipped on a small bottle for about an hour until I just couldn’t hold it back anymore & I started letting loose. I lived off Pepto every hour on the hour for the rest of that day. When my friend finally woke up, she had some Pepto too, & then still had to head home. Neither one of us was right for about a week afterward.”
If it tastes “off,” that should be a clue it might cause food poisoning.
“Cracker Barrel. I went on my birthday (12/22) with my boyfriend’s family because they wanted to take me for dinner, and I love cornbread. So, I had the chicken and dumplings. I remember thinking, “Hm, these taste a little off.” However, because I’m stupid, I demolished the plate anyway. Then I woke up at about 3 am the next morning with HORRIBLE stomach pains. I can’t even describe these pains. Like gas pains but 1000x times worse. So much pain. I felt amazingly nauseous but have a strong reflex against vomiting, so nothing there. Later that night, my boyfriend and I had tickets to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Christmas show in Philly, and it was awful. I spent a good portion of the show in the bathroom, cried through most of the concert because of the pain, and left early. I finally threw up for the first time outside the Wells Fargo center on the sidewalk while waiting for an Uber. The vomiting/diarrhea was constant for the next 36 hours, until Christmas morning,” shares kerintheam.
“I had taken a bus to my mother’s hometown in NEPA on Christmas Eve, and I had never been so miserable in my 26 years of life. I cried the whole bus ride and sobbed when I saw my mother at the bus station. My mother is a nurse and knew I was seriously ill, and stated that I was going to the ER the next morning if she couldn’t get me to keep fluids in that night. Spoiler alert, she couldn’t. So, after presents on Xmas morning (which was a struggle), I spent the rest of Xmas day in the ER. It was awful. I have never been so sick in my entire life. I THREW UP OVER 25 TIMES (most of which was dry heaving with only a little bit of water/Gatorade coming out). It was literally the most awful three days of my life. It took my system over two weeks to completely recover.”
Always refrigerate your mayo otherwise you might get food poisoning.
“I worked at Dairy Queen when I had first moved out of my parents’ house. At that point, we served iron grilled paninis, and they were fantastic. I made myself a ham and mayo sandwich and brought it home after work. We didn’t own a fridge, so I left it on the counter. I started having severe stomach cramps and feeling like I overate when friends were over. So, I went to bed because my boyfriend was up entertaining them and flew out of bed a little while later, puking between my fingers that were clamped tightly over my mouth,” says BeanzTheTurtleHerder.
“I was the sickest I had ever been that night and peed myself. And I was throwing up so hard. Our friends said it sounded like I was dying. I felt like I was but couldn’t ask anyone to take me to the hospital because I didn’t want to throw up in their cars. Yeah, I was okay by the morning, but I have never been that miserable. I don’t get mayo on sandwiches or burgers unless I know I’m going to finish it fresh.”
“So my family had some leftover fried chicken in the fridge, and I ate it for brunch or whatever. It tasted okay, I guess. Wrong. Oh, so very wrong. Around 2 am I wake up feeling like crap. Rush to the bathroom, vomit a LOT. I keep waking up to vomit and, in not too long, diarrhea. The best part? My food poisoning had kicked in on THANKSGIVING DAY. All of this delicious food was right downstairs, but I was too ill to even keep down water,” says thepurplepony.
“The other kicker: Because all I could do was lie in bed, miserable, with a puke bucket on the floor next to me, I started watching some movies on my laptop. My stepmom let me borrow “Precious.” To those unfamiliar with the movie, at one point, the main character visits a diner and goes full ham on a bucket of fried chicken. Given my illness and having gotten sick from the fried chicken in the first place….that scene was hell. I couldn’t eat fried chicken for years.”
“I was preparing to fly home from Hawaii when the hunger kicked in. My options were 1) Starbucks, 2) McDonald’s, and 3) some little healthy food place. I figured that the health food place was the most feasible option and ordered a chicken sandwich. Upon receiving the sandwich, I realized that it was lukewarm and didn’t quite taste right. But I -hungry and foolish- decided to eat it anyway. A few hours later, I was on a redeye home when I was awoken by the sound of my intestines attempting to turn themselves inside out. Luckily, I was on the end seat towards the back, so I had access to the bathroom,” shares YsabelMystic.
“For the next four hours of the flight, I was making trips to and from the bathroom and expelling fluids and chicken sandwiches from both ends. It sucked. But then it got worse. I was to take an hour-long flight back to my town in a tiny plane without a bathroom on a windy day. Before the flight left, I spent as much time in the terminal bathroom trying to remove everything in my digestive system. Unfortunately, by the time I got onto the plane, my intestines were ready for another go. Oh, and the turbulence made the plane feel like a cart on a rickety wooden roller-coaster. I managed not to have a blow-out on the plane, but it was pretty miserable. That was how I learned not to eat chicken sandwiches from obscure “health food” vendors at airports.”
“I was hiking the Appalachian Trail earlier this year and was in the Smokies at this point. I had those dehydrated meals from a sponsor and decided to eat one. Three Bean Chili. I don’t know if the beans were bad or something or if it was the water… but I started feeling sick a couple of hours afterward while I was in my sleeping bag. So, I crawled out, and it’s snowing. This particular shelter had no privy, so I had explosive diarrhea in the woods,” shares Speeding_turtle.
“And because it was so explosive, I had no time to get my toilet paper and had to wipe with some leaves. Also didn’t have time to get my stakes to bury the mess. Then in the morning, I climbed the highest peak on the trail (Clingman’s Dome) in snow, fog, hail, and rain while trying not to throw up every other step or have to pull down my leggings to have another poop episode. I hiked 12 miles that day and then had two days off in Gatlinburg to recover and rehydrate. That was terrible.”
That’s one way to get an extension on your finals.
“Okay, so this was my first, and only, time (so far) getting food poisoning… It was the weekend before college finals, and my scholarship was on the line, basically. If I messed up, I would not be able to stay at my school. A week before this happened, my boyfriend broke up with me, so I was already not in a good state of mind. I went to the cafe to get some food because I had been trying to study for my bio test, and it was already 3 pm. My screw-up was getting the spicy tuna roll. 9 pm was the first time I threw up. After that, I thought I would be okay, but I could not have been more wrong. 1 am I got up and attempted to run to the bathroom.”
Gifthelp28 continues, “I wound up puking all over the door and waking up my germaphobe roommate. It was coming out of both ends and would not stop for about 20 mins. Each second I asked myself why me. The same thing happened 2 hours later… Then 2 hours after that. My RA was not in her room, and I had no idea what to do, so I called my parents and emailed my professors. My parents picked me up, and I felt so much better after a day of rest with my saint of a mother taking care of me. (She even hand washed my diarrhea PJs by hand because our washing machine just broke). I wound up getting an extension on my finals and obtained the grades that I needed to stay in my school.”
“I got back from a week in Oklahoma storm chasing and took my girl out to this Greek restaurant we’ve been to on numerous occasions for dinner. This was literally an hour after we finished the overnight drive from OKC, and I slept maybe an hour that night before, so I was already pretty tired and cranky. Usually, I get gyros from there, but this time I wasn’t really feeling one, so I went with scallops instead. They were delicious. A couple of hours after we got home and right before we went to sleep, I could feel something wasn’t quite right, but I figured it would be fine after I slept it off. It wasn’t. I slept for about two hours and woke up with extremely violent vomiting and diarrhea, and it was an all-day event.”
“I couldn’t hold anything down, not crackers or water or juice or anything. It was one of those ordeals where I threw up so much and so often that once it finally started to wind down, I could hardly walk. I was so weak. It certainly didn’t help that by this point, I had maybe 5 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours. This was back in April. I haven’t had more than a single bite of Greek food since then, and I freaking love Greek food. I didn’t do seafood for several months either, and again, I really love seafood. I’ve recently warmed back up to everything except scallops. I think those will be a no-go for a long time.”
“I made the mistake of buying sushi from 7/11. It was 2:00 am, and I had homework. I was finishing up when I just got a sudden craving for sushi. Panda Express was closed, and the sushi bar at our Kroger closed 7 hours ago, so I settled on going to 7/11 since the closest Panda Express that was open 24 hrs was at least 10 miles away. So I run in, grab a pack of sushi, a Slurpee, and a bag of Doritos. I head back and chow down, only to notice it seemed off. It tasted slightly sour and had some weird discolored spots on it. But, being too tired and hungry to run out again, I ate a couple more pieces before pitching it in the trash due to the taste. 2 hours later, I wake up with incredible pain in my stomach,” tells Reddit_User479.
“I run to the bathroom and proceed to vomit up chunks of rice, avocado, and crab meat from the sushi. This goes on for another 10 minutes before I drive to the ER during a break between vomiting, occasionally pulling over from nausea. The doctor checks me out and says that I contracted food poisoning from rotten sushi. All the meanwhile, I’m trying to hold back the urge to vomit my guts out. Doc prescribes some digestive meds to clear it up. Meanwhile, here I was for half a week, vomiting, s@#%&ing my brains out from diarrhea, and popping meds while stuck at home. Luckily, I had a couple of good friends who would go and get stuff to eat while I was sick and would bring my homework…”
“It was the last day my boyfriend, and I had together before leaving school for the summer to go home. We lived about 9 hours away from each other, not during the school year. So we had this wonderful date planned at one of the nicer restaurants in town, and we both got all dressed up to go out. So we eat, and the food was great, and we are having a good time. Well then, about an hour or two later, I just start feeling absolutely awful, and I start puking my guts out. The worst part was at this point in time we are hanging out at his friend’s house whom I had just met, and I ended up vomiting in his bathroom for a good 15 minutes,” says Elephant_Gurl.
“Once it stopped for a little while, he took me back home. The puking went on the whole night and into the next day. So we ended up spending our last night together with me sitting by the toilet puking and him bringing me water and trying to make me feel better. To this day, he still argues that food poisoning doesn’t happen that quickly and swears it was something I ate earlier that day. And he could be right, but there is still no way in hell in going back to that restaurant. Honestly, just the thought makes me queasy.”
“I ate a burger in a remote town that seemed slightly too pink, but I was starving. Forty-five minutes later, I puked 1) in the bathroom of our restaurant, 2) in a trash can outside, 3) in a snowbank, 4) in another restaurant, 5) in all 12 plastic bags my sister kept in the back of her car while her husband drove the two hours home, 6) in the downstairs toilet, which is when diarrhea started, 7) in the upstairs toilet, and 8) in the bathtub,” shares stayshinycapn.
“I spent the night sitting up against a wall because lying down would set me off again. I dreamed that the house was on fire, and the only way to keep it from burning down was to keep tying the laces of a billion shoes in a row. At one point, I tripped over a pair of shoes and 9) threw up all over my blankets and lap. Also, Chipotle a few years earlier from a burrito bowl. I will never eat at either place again.”
“I think my worst is when I was a child about 9-10. My family brought home some chicken pot pies from a chicken pie shop. I told my mom that I wasn’t feeling well late in the evening after eating some earlier in the afternoon. So, she let me take a nap in her bed. I woke up a few hours later, and my sister was on the computer in my mom’s room. Then I got up to use the restroom, walked to the door, and turned to my side, and threw up all over my mom’s clean clothes. The ones that she had hanging to dry and all inside a bin that was holding a lot of her shoes.”
Danndelinne continues with their story and says, “I couldn’t help it and didn’t even feel it coming. I’m glad that my mom didn’t get angry with me because she knew that I couldn’t really help myself. And I knew that she was probably annoyed that I dirtied her laundry and got vomit all over her shoes. She helped me get cleaned up and still let me sleep in her bed. That was so many years ago, and I still feel bad for ruining her stuff.”
That weird taste is probably telling you to stop eating it.
“KFC – I’m not a huge fan of it, but my hubby wanted it. While we were eating, I told him my biscuit tasted funny. He said that he was fine, probably just me. Fast forward 30-45 minutes, we’re at home (thankfully), and my stomach starts rumbling like I’m about to pass gas…it wasn’t gas. I stood up to go to the bathroom but didn’t make it. What came out was straight liquid grossness – I had crapped my pants….my wonderful hubby rinsed and washed my pants/undies while I finished my business and cleaned myself up,” shares twilightsgraces.
“As I was cleaning myself, I felt the rumble again, but this time it came from both ends, and the abdominal pain, sweats, and delirium started. I was on the toilet holding a trash can with it spewing from both ends every 20 minutes for almost 8 hours. I thought I was dying. My husband was about to rush me to the hospital when it finally stopped. I was weak for three days after that. That was about seven years ago – I have never eaten and will never eat at KFC again.”
“My wife and I are world travelers, but she’s relatively new to the game. I’ve been to 47 countries and wanted to take her to Thailand for our 3-week honeymoon. While it’s awesome being able to buy a meal for 3 USD per person, you probably shouldn’t do it. I knew this, but we were in the middle of nowhere, and we got desperate. We walked into a street-side cafe, which appeared to be the only food around for miles. I was fine for the remainder of the day. When I woke up at 4 am, things were different. I bolted to the bathroom of our hotel – which wasn’t a separate room from the bedroom, mind you – and I was exploding from both ends simultaneously,” explains [redacted].
“Every 20 minutes, I’d have to sit my butt on the toilet and grab a trash can, emptying whatever little I had in my system out. I showered after every episode and tried to get what little sleep I could. My wife, luckily, was fine, aside from having to endure the wonderful smells I was providing. She went out to buy several gallons of water for me as I needed them. My stomach finally settled around 1 am the following day. My body was wrecked, though – I was unable to move significantly for two days due to severe muscle pain. We spent those two days watching movies in bed and at the hotel’s pool, so it wasn’t a total loss, but we weren’t able to go exploring.”
“I made the massive mistake of eating at a $1 Chinese food joint on Hollywood Blvd back in the 90s when I was a teen. It hit me that night, and I was woken up from a dead sleep. I was shaking and shivering, with my stomach turning back flips. So, I raced to the toilet and vomited violently for several minutes. I got a glass of water and weakly made my way back to bed. Then, I took a few sips of water. That came back up within minutes. I wished I were dead,” shares 46andtwojustahead.
“It got progressively worse. I spiked a fever of about 104. And I couldn’t keep anything down. I was supposed to be working, and I tried my best. However, I got sent to quarantine. I crawled into bed, and evidently, Then, I lost consciousness for three days. My friends came searching for me on the 3rd day and managed to rouse me from my unconscious state. They then coaxed me into eating a couple of crackers as well as taking tiny sips of water. I couldn’t eat Chinese food for about ten years after that episode.”
“I was on a traveling softball team, about age 11. We had an early-morning tournament out of town, so we all stayed in a hotel that served breakfast. That morning before heading to the tournament, the entire team and their families ate breakfast at the hotel. My little brother was being super wild, so my dad decided to take him to the nearby McDonald’s that had a play place so that he could wind him down some. We get to the tournament when our team starts dropping like flies. Round the base, hurk, and rally! The coach was passed out under a shade tree near the dugout,” says Booner999.
“Some of the parents were laying on the concrete bathroom floor. To make matters worse, the temps were well over 100 that day. The park had to come out and put dirt on the fields we played in because all of us girls had puked all over the place. There was one other team who was going through the same thing, and they stayed at the same hotel we did. The only two people who didn’t get sick from this mess were my dad and brother. It still gives me nightmares thinking about all that puke.”
“I have had some pretty cruddy food poisoning scenarios before, but thankfully was always able to take off from work or school and rest. However, one of the more inconveniently timed bouts of food poisoning was while on a work trip to some tiny African country. My first time in Africa, actually. We were in a small but nice hotel but had a lot of work to do locally. I do not know if it was the food at the hotel or from the site where I worked, but a couple of days into the trip (and the most important day of the trip for me / my expertise, as other parts had been duel / more geared towards my clients and coworkers from a different section) and I barely slept,” shares BigBearSD.
“Was crapping my guts out all night long. I used up all of the TP and had to request more. I used all of that up, too, felt embarrassed, and just took to washing my butt in the cold shower after every s@#%. This kept up into the morning. I took various medicines I had brought with me to protect against the African Trots, but man was that morning rough. I sucked it up, got ready for work, and did my job. It was very hot and humid out, but I didn’t want to drink, let alone eat anything, for fear of having an instant case of the shivering squirts. That was a 12 to 14-hour workday. But thankfully, by the end of it, I was feeling a lot better, still not 100%, but okay enough.”
Food poisoning is a sure way to ruin a concert for yourself.
“I worked security at Bonnaroo in 2005-2006. I went the first couple of years and found my way into getting paid to go and bring a bunch of college friends along. Well, somehow the 2nd day of 06, someone left out an entire pallet of lunches from the day before. They were distributed to the staff unknowingly. I was one of the unlucky ones. Unfortunately, this news didn’t hit me physically or by word of mouth until after I partook in some magic mushrooms after my shift was over. However, before the headliner Radiohead. The s@#%/puke tornado dance in a sauna of a port a potty isn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy,” shares ThinkinWhisky.
“After an eternity contemplating every decision I’ve ever made in life, I was escorted back to staff camping. The next morning I was expected to be at my post at 7 am. During the walk, I leaked a rancid ham sandwich down my leg and ran to the treeline to puke. It would not be the last time I used explosive diarrhea to get out of work. However, it still remains my most legitimate use of it. I spent the remainder of the day ruining port a potties which went from “sauna” to “7th circle of hell” hot under the June Tennessee sun. I avoid Radiohead like the plague to this day.”